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10 Depressing Problems Faced By Malaysian Guys Who Can't Grow Beards
You tried growing a beard but you just can't. We know how that feels, bro.
By Darian Goh
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But not all men can participate. Like young Malaysian Chinese men. Why? It's quite obvious...
"But I am a Malaysian! I grow a beard!" Well, you're an anomaly, and stop gloating
It is a mystery, given that our ancestors had no problem growing glorious beards. What ever happened to the beard gene?
And it doesn't help when the Internet mocks you with images of lush moustaches and beards on members of the opposite sex
1. You've tried since puberty. As young as 15. As old as 30. No matter how hard you try or when, you just can't...
2. When you finally see something sprouting from your face, it's patchy and pathetic
3. Your bearded friends give you tips on growing it faster. Yes, you tried rubbing brandy on your cheeks. Nothing.
4. At the same time, your bros start posting stuff on Facebook about how real men grow beards
5. ...or how their beards are problematic. Oh, how we wish we could trade places! #FirstBeardProblems
Damn it!!!! Put my beard trimmer on wrong setting & now have had to trim my beard right down :( #beard #beardproblems #babyface
— GrumpyDoody (@Doodyspudding) November 7, 2014
6. At clubs, we get checked because we look like a boy. The boy face syndrome, it's a real disease.
7. You look for inspiration from other Malaysian men who can grow facial hair and the role models are, well, not the kind of look we're going for...
8. With girls posting BuzzFeed articles about men with sexy beards on Facebook, it makes us kinda sad
9. You imagine yourself with a beard by using shampoo or shaving foam as your white beard. Don't lie, you've done it before.
10. When you forget to shave, a small tuft comes out. When your macha bro forgets to shave, it's a glorious beard. Unfair!
PS: If you're a bearded male who's blessed with a super janggut, spare a thought for us...
