Guy's Imagination Runs Wild At The Thought Of Organising #HimpunanMaruahIndia
"Just imagine the singing and dancing in the streets."
By Tang Ruxyn — 18 Sep 2015, 06:09 PM — Updated about 9 years ago
After Bersih 4 and Himpunan Maruah Melayu, what's next? Umapagan from BFM seems to have the answer: #HimpunanMaruahIndia
Feeling incredibly left out, I have decided to organize a Himpunan Maruah India.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
#HimpunanMaruahIndia sounds really fun. Guess which special guest would be there?
We will wear purple shirts. So we match everything in Brickfields.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Just imagine the singing and dancing in the streets.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
My brothers and sisters. I have great news. A.R. Rahman has agreed to perform at #HimpunanMaruahIndia! #MollywoodCavalcadeOfStars
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
As usual, there are a lot of uncertainties
But I'm worried it might all fall apart. Because already there's someone else claiming to be the true leader of the rally.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Bersih - one clear leader. Himpunan Maruah Melayu - no one wants to be the leader. Himpunan Maruah India - semua nak jadi leader.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Within minutes of my first tweet, there is already a second faction calling themselves Himpunan Maruah India Benar.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Everything's still under control but more people are getting upset
It's been 9 minutes and a third breakaway faction is now claiming to be Himpunan Maruah Malayalee. #YouDontSpeakForUs
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Now the Sri Lankans are upset because they're not represented. So are the Brahmins. But the Sikhs are still with me.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
The conflict continues. Caste factions are springing forth. Some of them demand orange shirts.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
At times, you're 'rally' filled with doubt
Okay. So maybe this wasn't such a good idea. #HimpunanMaruahIndia
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
But all is well again when we reach a compromise
After much discussion, we have finally reached a compromise. Both purple AND orange shirts will be allowed at the rally.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
I have reminded the Mamaks that they're still Indian actually. So they too are welcome to join our purple/orange shirt rally.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
In any case, make sure you're ready with 10,000 coconuts
Okay. So now some idiot has made a vow to break 10,000 coconuts if 100,000 thousand people show up for the rally.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Also, it's important to take down these notes if you're going to the rally
Some tips in case of tear gas or water canons. Just rub some manjal all over your body and nothing can get through. My grandmother told me.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Brothers and sisters. Please bring your own coconuts. I repeat, coconuts will not be provided.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
In case you missed the memo, the gathering is set to take place on Deepavali eve and there will be two meeting spots...
We have all finally agreed that #HimpunanMaruahIndia will take place on Deepavali eve. Though we can't seem to agree on when that is.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
There will be two gathering/meeting spots in KL. In front of the ugly sculpture at Brickfields and in front of Haniffa in Masjid India.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
We reckon that's where most of you will be anyway. That way we don't have to get Taylor's to provide bus services.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
No police or RELA, no medical team, no lawyers, and no bills. #HimpunanMaruahIndia only wants gold.
We don't need the police or RELA. We have been assured protection by the Sentul and Klang gangsters. (I hear they also have guns.)
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
We have assured the government and DBKL that there will be no clean up bill. Don't worry. That is our job. We are all cleaners at heart.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
We will also not be requiring any medical services at #HimpunanMaruahIndia. No need lawyers either.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
To all supporters of the #HimpunanMaruahIndia, we are looking for donations. We are taking donations in gold, gold, and gold.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
#HimpunanMaruahIndia also reminds everyone that equality does exist
QOTD: "We are not racist. We are Indians. Everyone was Indian at some point. So everyone can join."
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Thank you so much for all of your kind donations. We will now form a "holdings company" and keep it in trust for all Indians.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Again, the confusion among people are creating chaos
My dear friends and supporters. I am facing another leadership challenge.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Certain parties are claiming I am a fraud. That I am not India. That my Ceylonese heritage disqualifies me to lead any such himpunan.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Brothers. Sisters. Cousin brothers. Cousin sisters. Please do not support or join this #HimpunanBaduaIndia. It is an illegal rally.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
There are various challenges but the show must go on
Wait. I'm getting some reports that the police are on their way to my house. I will keep you posted.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
No. It's a false alarm. They were just questioning me for some other crime that happened in some other place where I wasn't.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
Ultimately, good things will come to those who wait!
I would also like to announce to all my loyal supporters that I have been made a senator and a minister in the Prime Minister's Office.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
The government has promised to build us a new temple! #HidupNajib #HidupMelayu
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015
But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end
I know it's only been an hour, but I have resigned from all government positions as the PM has failed to deliver on his promises.
— Umapagan (@umapagan) September 18, 2015