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When Chinese Restaurants Sensationalise Their Food Names, It's Deliciously Glorious

Nobody names their food like the Chinese. Get ready for some random action.

Cover image via SAYS.com

BEFORE WE PROCEED, let's try something different. You need to hum the tune of Frozen's Do You Wanna Build A Snowman song in your head:

*Click on the sound icon at the bottom right of the video for sweet audio.

Got it? Okay, here we go...

1. Do you wanna build some recognition? (go on, in the tune of the Snowman song!)

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2. Come on, let's eat kai pei

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Kai pei is (luxurious) chicken thigh. And yes, we're really keeping to the Snowman song! Scroll up to the top if you need to refresh that tune.

3. I never see you any-'maw'

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WAIT, WHAT IS FISH MAW? Once and for all: it's an internal gas-filled organ found in most fish and some consider fish maw to be a luxury item. See it in its full glory:

Fish maw is said to be an excellent source of collagen.

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4. Come spin fish balls

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In case you're wondering, the Chinese characters on the menu say, "Profits pouring in from all sides (homemade fish ball)".

Spin, spin all the profit!

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5. It's like you've gone cold war!

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Bring back the harmony!

Cute kids in North Korea singing in perfect harmony

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6. We used to be grand happy

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Like this guy:

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7. And now 'wall' not :(

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Buddha Jumps Over the Wall, also known as Buddha's Temptation, is a variety of shark fin soup in Fujian cuisine. Since its creation during the Qing Dynasty (1644 – 1912), the dish has been regarded as a Chinese delicacy known for its rich taste, usage of various high-quality ingredients and special manner of cooking.

wikipedia.org

What it really looks like:

A pot of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall: panax ginger, abalone, shark’s fin and fish maw

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8. I wish you would gimme a fiveee!

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No, you're not eating vegetables fried with precious gems on a chestful of gold coins. Just good ol' beans and stalks of green, but no, let's not settle for ordinary names! Let's make them sound so fine!

Five 'Treasure' Vegetables. Bruno Mars would approve.

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9. Do you want some balls of brilliance?

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Now why didn't anyone think of this earlier? Brilliant level Asian.

10. It doesn't have to be a million...

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One bite, win all!

11. Okay, sek sai...

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The first two Chinese characters (白玉) mean 'jade', a common metaphor to describe someone's purity and kindness, while the rest of the characters are about the radish dish. Can you taste that sweet sensation yet?

And that, my friends, is why the Chinese always win with their over-the-top, supremely supreme, hyperbolic food names

Clap, clap, clap!

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Put them in a desperate situation and they're also up for ANYTHING to evade 'kaypoh' relatives:

If you thought the sing-along was fun, we suspect these badass beliefs should humour you too:

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