Our Featured Instagrammer Is An Honest Gnome Who Will Tell You If The Food Sucks

He even ditched the standard red pointy hat for a green one. What a hipster.

"Make me my favourite croissant, my minions!"

Omnom: I was out for a lunch meeting one day (yes, gnomes have meetings too) and we were at a restaurant I've never been to before which served really pretty food! So I whipped out my phone to took a picture and my boss went, "We should turn this into a new project" and voilà! Omnomgnome was born. Kind of. The 'deeper' answer to that is that I'm really picky with food so I realised that a lot of food reviews we get online are either neutral or positive. I mean, surely a human being with Internet has eaten something horrible before, right? No?

It's the whole package. I always ask people, if a restaurant served the best food you've ever had but the service is appalling, would you go back? I wouldn't! I would even think twice about queuing for food. Because I've done it several times and I was disappointed each time, partly due to the possibility that my stomach has digested itself while waiting to be fed. Hunger waits for no man (or gnome).

My grading system is based on keeping it simple. Sometimes people aren't interested in reading all the words so they can skip right ahead to the thumbs up or down or a punch for the chef. (For the record, I've never punched a chef. I'm a law-abiding, non-violent gnome, promise!)

I do get invited but I prefer going incognito. Avoiding human detection is my specialty because well, look at my size. Wait. You can't see me, cos I'm a tiny ninja! Wachaa! My aim is to get exactly what regular customers would experience. You can't get that if you're invited, because restaurants/cafes would obviously try to present their very best in the hopes that you'll write something nice. I'm a nice gnome, but I'm also a very objective and honest gnome.