It has been two weeks since Malaysians were left in shock following Ashraf Sinclair's sudden death.
But nothing can compare to what his friends and family must be going through.
In a heartfelt post titled 'On Loss - A Father's Perspective', Ashraf's father revealed how he has been coping with his son's death.
When asked how he felt, Mohamed Anthony John Sinclair - also known as Pak Mat - shared that he didn't have the words to adequately describe his feelings.
"I actually have to stop for a while and look inwards to answer that. Numb, mainly. I can operate on a day-to-day basis, but much of the colour of my life is missing," he wrote.
His Facebook post has been shared over 6,100 times since it was uploaded on 1 March.
Upon recognising the loss of his son, Pak Mat shared that someone had sent him a touching email despite not knowing Ashraf or his wife Bunga
"Thank you sir. I am deeply touched by his gesture, and the gestures of so many others. I tried to reply to all the messages of condolence that flooded in," he wrote.
The father also admitted that loss and sorrow often sweep over him, sometimes in small amounts when he can blink back the tears and other times it leaves him sobbing in his hands.
"If it is like that for me, then how can it be for Bunga, amazing and strong lady that she is, and nine-year-old Noah?"
He admitted that it's not so much about 'why' it happened but more of feeling helplessness for those around him – and for his son
He concluded his post by addressing his son:
"My dearest Ashraf, you have gone so suddenly from our lives, and we, as friends and family, struggle to make sense of it. Though we mourn for you, you are now beyond us, gone before as the expression puts it."
"You are where you are and, apart from praying for you, there is little we can do, other than endure the unendurable…until, over time, it becomes easier and we can, with a wistful smile, look back at our memories of all that you were, whilst giving thanks for all that you brought into our lives over your, all too short, 40 years."
"God bless you Ashraf and thank you for everything!"