[MUST READ] What Motivates A Man To Rape A Woman? Hear It From These Rapists
The explanations range from exasperating to disturbing, and the whole of it may make you want to roll your eyes in disgust.
From the gang-rape of a 20-something Chinese national at the Penang Bridge rest stop to the rape of a teenage girl on the orders of a village council in an Indian village, stories of rape abound. All around us. Yet we continue to ignore this horrendous crime.
Last year in Malaysia, there were 2,111 reported rapes involving children under the age of 18. However, only 14 persons were convicted. So as Liyana Dizzy notes, our system basically believes 2,097 out of 2,111 men were wrongly accused of raping children.
Rape is a sexual crime and it's always — regardless of what you have been told or may have read previously — the responsibility of those who commit it. NOT of those who are raped. NEVER!
While there is no single scientific theory that conclusively explains the motivation for rape, an unscientific survey by Sky News reveals the harrowing attitudes some men have towards rape and women
Sky News asked 38 men if they had raped a woman; in total, 28 answered they had raped a woman, and many even explained how and why. While it's difficult to read just one side of the story — especially the rapists, it doesn't mean the answers should be dismissed all together.
Also, the answers provided by these men, many of which echo victim-blaming attitudes so frequently heard here in Malaysia, illustrate the ubiquity of rape culture and show how often rapists go unpunished - just like in any other country - in South Africa. We list down their answers below.
This 34-year-old man raped a woman because he bought beers for her but later she refused to go home with him
Q: How did it happen?
A: We were having some beers in a tavern and I spent (money on) the lady but when (the) time arrived (to) go she refused. I had to use manpower to take her with me. We never got to my place so I decided to rape her. The second time it was the same woman again, we met at a shebeen and we had beers together, when she decided to leave the place I escorted her and along the way I raped her.
Q: Did she report the case?
A: No.
This 38-year-old man raped because he thought he was ugly, and he knew the woman he wanted to sleep with would say no
Q: How did it happen?
A: I always wanted the woman but because (I) am ugly and I knew that if I (tried) to (proposition) her she (would refuse) … unless I have a lot of money to buy her. I knew where she lived and traced her movements and how many people she lived with in her shack, but I found out that her boyfriend only came (back at) month ends. I went to her place Friday night and it was raining so it helped me attack her well as no one else could hear me. I used a bolt cutter to gain entry, wielding a butcher knife. I told her not to scream until I leave her place.
Q: Did she open a (police) case?
A: I don't know because I never got arrested for the rape.
This man says he raped her because he "needed sex"
Q: How did it happen?
A: The woman always asked me for (a) cool drink or money for transport. I did give her (these things) many times. When I needed her to sleep with me she always came up with excuses. (In) January this year I met her on the street when I was coming from the nearby shop holding plastic (bags) with groceries. I decided to invite her to my place, she came over and when I needed sex she said, 'not today, next time'. I didn't buy the story. I overpowered and raped her.
Q: Did she open a case after that?
A: Yes.
This 24-year-old man feels great because "she is a nice woman to have (slept) with even though (it was) against her will"
Q: How did it happen?
A: We watched (a) game of soccer together at my place at night while her parents had gone out. I bought some ciders. I knew she liked them, and we drunk together. In the middle of the game I (raped her).
Q: Did she open a case against you?
A: No!
Q: Why not?
A: I think she just got scared of her parents and avoided the embarrassment.
Q: Have you apologised to her to see if she had animosity towards you after the rape?
A: I tried but she didn't want to talk to me.
Q: How do you feel that you did such a thing to your neighbour?
A: I feel great because she is a nice woman to have (slept) with even though (it was) against her will.
This man raped a 21-year-old repeatedly
Q: How did it happen?
A: (There) were five of us who went out on (a) Friday night (in) 2011. We did a house arrest, three of us got into the house of a white man demanding (he) open up his safe of money. He refused so we used a hot iron to get him to open the safe. The moment we were still busy teasing him our two accomplices came in with his wife who didn't know that there was a robbery in progress at her house. She was … raped ... repeatedly. We left the scene with jewellery and cash plus a cellphone.
Q: Was anyone arrested for this crime?
A: No
This rapist says he doesn't feel bad because he "supported her" and deserved something from her in exchange
Q: How did it happen?
A: My ex-girlfriend's sister lived with us in the same shack and when (I was) off her sister would be at work, so we watched TV together. I asked and promised to buy her expensive shoes if she slept with me. She refused and I forced myself on her and told her that if she talked about it I would chase both her (and) her sister, so she kept quiet.
Q: How do you feel whenever you see her after you did this?
A: I feel nothing bad about it.
Q: Why not?
A: I supported her at my place and I deserved to ask for a favour too.
Q: Do you call it rape?
A: No.
Q: But you forced yourself on her?
A: Yes.
This young 27-year-old married man raped a woman he met in a party after she refused to sleep with him
Q: How did it happen?
A: We went to a big party in Rustenburg and there was this woman whom I admired. I proposed to give her a lift after a party. We left together after the party and both of us had taken some beers but I made sure that I didn't drink too much. In the car after driving 5km I wanted to kiss her and she kissed too but refused to sleep with me. However, I used my power to overcome ... her.
Q: Did she report you to the police?
A: No. I phoned her while at work and promised to give her some money, which I did - R1000 (RM340) to close her mouth.
Q: Was this the first time for you?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you married?
A: Yes.
This man who has raped five times, believes women who wear mini-skirts want to get raped
Q: How did it happen?
A: Fridays we went out to chill and drink some beers … after hours me and my friend we saw a young good-looking woman who was drunk on the street, we took her to our place and (raped) her in our shack for an hour. This became a habit and every Friday we made sure that we hung on at the tavern to pick up girls who were drinking after hours.
Q: How many times have you raped a woman?
A: Five times.
Q: Have you ever been arrested for any rape?
A: Once.
Q: Did you serve time for it?
A: Yes.
Q: How long?
A: Six years.
Q: Do you think it's the right thing to do?
A: Why do women go to taverns in mini-skirts?
Q: What do you think they want?
A: To be raped.
There is this rapist who thinks "all women want money so the best is just to rape." And when asked is he not afraid of being caught? He said: "Rape those who won't know you."