In My Early 20s: What Really Matters (And What Doesn't)

Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and WhatsApp for the latest stories and breaking news.

In a generation where everyone's life seems perfect — whether it's in academics, careers, or on social media — it feels like a never-ending struggle to keep up.

From splurging on overpriced skincare and makeup to chasing the latest trends, the pressure to look perfect is yet another way we’re caught in the race to stay ahead.

There's also the pressure to achieve — whether it’s landing the perfect job straight out of college or constantly showcasing success on social media, the need to 'have it all together' can feel overwhelming.

This constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards leaves many feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.

The turning point for me came when I realised that I was persistently trying to study in a field I had no passion for, solely because everyone told me it promised a secure future.

Honestly it was only making me miserable, and I went through so many breakdowns trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations instead of my own.

Those breakdowns were my wake-up call.

Then, I started focusing on what truly made me happy and began prioritising my mental health over external validation.

It's a waste of time to compare yourself to others; what really matters is embracing your own path and living on your own timeline.

That's why prioritising yourself and your mental health is key — forget the race and focus on what truly makes you happy.

A lot of people around my age get caught up in pleasing others, seeking social acceptance, and trying to be liked by friends and family members.

This desire to please can overshadow your own goals and values, and can eventually lead to exhausting burnouts.

There were a few times in my life where I tried to fit in with new people, constantly sacrificing my own interests to belong.

In the end, it only left me feeling disconnected, and mentally and physically drained.

Therefore, it's crucial to set your own boundaries and focus on your personal developments.

Prioritising self-growth will allow you to find your own path and embrace your true self!

Life is a journey of accepting yourself the way you are made, and it’s okay to be different from others. :)

Focusing on self-growth instead of seeking approval from others fosters a healthier mindset and enables us to lead fulfilling lives free from guilt, and find peace and happiness in our authentic selves.

I had to learn this one the hard way: failure is not a setback.

Each failure will teach you a valuable lesson and will provide you with insights to help you grow.

Letting go of the fear and embracing failure will allow you to create space for a clearer understanding of your own goals.

I remember failing an important math test, and it left me feeling devastated.

Instead of giving up, I decided to reassess my study habits and seek help from others.

This not only improved my grades but also reignited my passion for learning.

That failure taught me to see setbacks as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

This not only helps your grades but also helps you discover your passion for education, proving that failures can help you grow and understand your goals better.

In the end, these experiences will shape you into a stronger individual, and make you better prepared to achieve your ambitions.

The desire to keep up with your friends' or social circle's lives is real, and it’s something I believe everyone experiences at some point.

Don't feel pressured to go out with your friends if you're tight on money.

Your financial health is more important, and true friends will always understand your situation.

I remember one time when I had to choose between going out for an expensive dinner with my friends or saving for my monthly essentials.

It was quite a tough decision because if I chose not to go, I’d be the only one missing out.

In the end, I chose to stay in and it was a good decision I made for my financial health.

Skipping out on the fancy dinner means that I can afford my groceries and cover other essentials for another month.

The next time my friends and I wanted to hang out, I suggested a low-cost movie night at home.

Not only did we save money, we also had a great time.

It taught me that genuine friends appreciate your honesty and will value your company no matter the setting.

Your 20s are a time for discovering what truly matters to you. It's about figuring out what works for you, rather than succumbing to societal expectations.

Prioritising mental health, focusing on self-growth, and understanding the value of financial independence are crucial.

Don't fear failure; embrace it as a stepping stone to success.

And remember, it's okay to say no if it means protecting your wellbeing.

Embrace your personal journey, live authentically, and find joy in pursuing what genuinely makes you happy. Your path is unique — celebrate it!

Aleya is a student at the University of Malaya, majoring in English Literature.

She has a strong interest in writing poetry and uses it as a way to express herself.

Beyond her studies, Aleya is passionate about sharing her personal experiences. She believes that by being open about her challenges and insights, she can help others going through similar situations.

Her goal is to empower people to take control of their own lives and feel less alone in their struggles.

Through her writing, she aims to create a supportive community where individuals can connect and find encouragement.