So, you've just been invited to yet another wedding and you're racking your brain deciding how much ang pow to give to the newlyweds
It's not the case for everyone, but there's often an unspoken expectation for monetary gifts as married couples try to cover their costs with the cash they receive back from guests.
But how do we decide how much to give without going broke or being considered too cheapskate?
"I usually see how close I am to the person."
"If it's a close member of the family and a close friend, I would give more.
"If not, I will go with the usual kenduri/temple wedding - RM50, chinese restaurant - RM100, hotel - RM150, five-star hotel - RM200, which I based on the average market rate and a little bit more to just wish the newlyweds well as they embark on a new journey." – Diane, 30
"On average, I tend to give about RM100 - RM200."
"That feels like the 'right' amount for me, it's not too little so I don't feel like a cheapskate and it's not too much so I'm not broke after attending just one wedding.
"The main things I consider are how close I am to the couple and where the wedding is being held. I tend to give more for couples that I'm very close to or if the wedding is being held in an expensive location." – Chitra, 27
"I usually return the favour based on how much they gave for my wedding."
"We listed down how much each guest gave for our wedding because it's customary to return the favour, in my opinion. For example, it wouldn't seem fair to give them only RM100 if they had gifted us with RM200." – Katie, 40
"I think in KL at least, RM120 should be minimum."
"So if it's a friend I've known for a while, I'll try to give RM150 to help cover the costs cause weddings are not cheap (although we once ate Nando's at my friend's wedding). If I don't want to give ang pow I just try to not attend the wedding at all – no need to think so much.
"It can be very straining if you have multiple weddings to attend in the same month." – Jia Le, 25
"I usually ask around, especially when I know friends who are invited to the same wedding."
"Most of the time, it depends on the 'market rate' where the wedding is held. For example, Kuala Lumpur and Seremban –– both charge differently when it comes to food, venue, etc.
"So, for a KL wedding, maybe RM120? And RM80 - RM100 for one in Seremban for example? Anything over RM80 is an adequate amount for a token of appreciation, I think.
"I'd also ask around, especially when I know friends who are invited to the same wedding. But the rule of thumb should always apply: Pay what you can afford." – John, 27
"Usually I give 200, which I think is a fair amount."
"It is what I want to and can afford to give that represents my thanks for having me there as part of their celebration.
"If it's someone closer to me, I would give more but depends on who the person is lah." – May, 27
"We don't do the thing where we refer to how much the person gave us at our wedding and match that."
"The basic that I give is RM300 between my husband and I. And RM150 if I'm attending on my own. I usually decide based on my relationship with the couple and the venue of the reception.
"If my husband and I are really close to the person/couple, and if we know the couple would need the money, then we'll give more.
"We don't do the thing where we refer to how much the person gave us at our wedding and match that, unless they gave us a significantly big ang pow and we try to 'give back' within our means." – Judith, 33
"I decide on the amount based on how many weddings are within the same period."
"I usually give a range between RM150 - RM300. And I base the amount on:
- How close I am with the person (the closer the person, the more I give).
- How often weddings are (too many within the same period, means lesser amount).
- My situation at the time. For example, as a student, I would give RM50. But as a working adult, I give more." – Dominic, 29