"I Married The Wrong Person" – Malaysian Man Expresses Regret Marrying Hot-Headed Wife
"She's so quick to criticise and curse me out."
By Wayne Garreth — 21 Nov 2022, 10:59 AM
For every person, entering into a marriage comes with the prospect of a lifelong and unbreakable commitment.
But what happens to those, who through their journey, simply realise they've made a mistake?
A recent confession to the Malaysian Twitter page, TwtWedding, has gone viral for a rather sorrowful and dejected reason.
One Malaysian man has anonymously revealed all the issues that are going on in his marriage, and how the severity of the circumstances are causing him to consider ending the relationship for good.
Attempting to be fair in assessing the situation, he lays out a clear timeline of events that fully convey his emotions and thought process. Needless to say, the man was upfront and honest about his brief overview of his union — and that he may have married the wrong person altogether.
Opening his post, the man reveals that while he's known his wife for about seven to eight years, she has a temper tantrum that's beyond reason
While he admits that she does have a good heart, the man continues by saying that she can't take any advise once she gets angry, and that everything needs to go her way to avoid an even bigger fight from happening.
"I'm not perfect, but I try to be calm — what's more is that we've only been married for three months," he wrote.
Explaining the situation behind their union, the man continued by saying that they live in different states, as her family runs a business in Selangor, while he runs his own trade in Melaka. However, he was forthright about their dedication to each of their businesses not being equal at all.
"She's not fully committed to her family's business, because she's not interested in continuing their legacy. She doesn't have a job as of now, though she just finished studying her master's degree and helps her family here and there. Nonetheless, the sole income for the both of us comes from me."
Though the man states his satisfaction with being the main financial contributor, his wife's unruly temper has caused him a great deal of distress
Venting his frustrations, the man states that his wife doesn't hold back when insulting him if they get into a scuff — going as far as to say that he "belongs" to her.
"I don't say anything when she gets angry, I just get really sad. My wife gets rough and straight up rude. I'm not asking her to kiss my feet, but she can talk nicely to me. Words like divorce, leaving me, and that she regrets marrying me are so quick to leave her mouth. One time, when I didn't respond to her, she sent me divorce forms."
Explaining how their distance has further exacerbated the situation, the man stated that she refuses to go to Melaka with him whenever he needs to see to his business, saying that she prefers to stay with her parents. "Sometimes, she says we're doing an LDR (long distance relationship)."
The breaking point, however, came during a recent trip he made to Melaka while his wife was sick — causing her to accuse him of not caring for her
"When I reached Melaka for work, she told me that she had gotten a fever and food poisoning back home in Selangor, but I couldn't go back because I had to settle some work relating to my business. If I don't, where is the money going to come from? I'm the only one working," he stated.
Despite his reasoning for not being able to come back, the man stated that his wife accused him of abandoning her and not taking care of her. While he stated that he spent plenty of time contacting her sister, her parents, and even her, she still continued to scold him and tear him apart for not coming back.
"I'm not here to enjoy Melaka, I'm seriously working."
Ending his confession, the man pleads for help through the confessions page.
"The point is, I'm very upset that my wife so easily insults and criticises me. Was it a mistake to marry her, should I end this marriage?" he concluded.
The tweet has since garnered the attention of a slew of Malaysians, who seem to be divided on the situation
A fair portion of the comments criticised the wife, saying that her behaviour is rather odd and contradictory to her husband.
"She doesn't work, but doesn't want to follow her husband. Then why get married? Just sit in your parents house until you get old," wrote one Twitter user.
Another person handed out some advice to the couple, saying that no matter how angry one gets in a heated discussion, to never throw insults and demean one another. "When I get really, really angry, I get lazy to talk at all."
A couple of others told the confessor that if a man or woman so easily insult you during your relationship, it's an immediate red flag.
"It's a habit. It can be changed though, but it has to be done before marriage. You [can't] expect someone to change just because they are married to you," one person wrote.
Meanwhile, another Twitter user asked the man how he never realised, after knowing his wife for seven to eight years, about her bad temper, saying it sounded a little suspicious.
Nonetheless, another user stood up for the husband, saying that people's behaviour can change after marriage. "They [say] you never know your partner's real behaviour until after you get married."
All in all, a few fruitful comments stood out for giving relatively good advice to the husband when moving forward with his relationship.
"You have to be straightforward with your wife. Be honest with her about what you're feeling, and ask if she has any problems," one said.
However, the user also added that if it doesn't work, for him to seek out therapy with his wife to resolve the issue, saying that her mental health may be the cause for her explosive episodes.
Seemingly agreeing with this take, another commenter stated, "I have been in the same phase as your wife before this, and I had symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Teach her slowly, and keep the positive energy going. It would be a shame to give up this marriage after a few months, unless you are completely and utterly drained."
