Don't Outshine The Bride And 9 Other Things To Know Before Attending An Indian Wedding
Don't forget to take loads of pictures!
By Samantha Khor — 20 Nov 2015, 07:16 PM
Indian weddings can be spectacular and colourful occasions, though the array of rituals and traditions may be confusing for some guests. Here are some things to know when attending an Indian wedding:
1. A Malaysian Indian wedding day is divided into 2 parts - the wedding ceremony during the day, followed by a reception in the evening
The wedding ceremony, officiated by a Hindu priest, involves a series of rituals that are based around the oldest sacred texts of Hinduism (the Vedas), including the Ganesha pooja (a religious ritual), blessings from the couple's parents and guests, and having the couple walk around a holy fire 3 times.
Family members - both immediate and extended - are very much involved with tasks like welcoming guests, cracking a coconut (an auspicious ritual offering), and walking around the venue requesting the guests to bless a tray containing the thali (the golden necklace a bride receives on her wedding day).
So, which one should you be attending? Unless you are a family member or close family friend, guests are mostly expected to only attend the reception
2. Now that you've been invited, take note of the RSVP deadline and remember to respond to your host by then with the number of guests you are bringing along, provided it is specified in the invitation
Consult your invitation card. If it only states your name, you are expected to attend alone. If you really want to bring additional guests, make sure to clear it with the couple or the person who gave you the invitation. Similarly, you may bring along your partner and/or immediate family members if it is stated in the invitation cards.
In the event that you have confirmed your attendance but is unable to make it at the very last minute, do let the hosts know. Also, do not bring any unexpected guests to the wedding reception, especially if there are assigned seats!
3. You're not exactly expected to be dressed in traditional Indian dress e.g. saree or dhoti for the wedding. Dress decently and comfortably if you are attending the ceremony...
If you are attending the wedding ceremony, dress modestly, meaning no bare shoulders, plunging necklines, and short skirts for the ladies. Wedding ceremonies may also require you to sit on the floor, so make sure your clothes are not too tight or short.
Also, most religious places require you to take off your shoes and place them in the designated space before you enter the sanctified area. While some places may require you to be barefooted, usually wearing socks or stockings is acceptable.
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... And feel free to go all out with fancy colours and jewellery for the reception. Just make sure you do not outshine the bride on her special day!
Indian weddings are joyous, colourful occasions where guests have no qualms with putting on their fanciest outfits with all the jewellery they own.
Old traditions discourage guests from wearing wholly white and black clothing, as white is worn at funerals and black signifies mourning. However, clothing with white and black motifs are acceptable.
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4. Like Malay and Chinese weddings, guests are expected to bring along a monetary gift for the couple, usually placed in an envelope (usually embroidered, but a normal envelope is fine too!) with the guest's name written on it
The monetary envelope is to be given to the parents of the bride or, in some cases, a designated "gift collector" who is usually seen with a bag containing the monetary gifts.
The amount to be gifted depends on how close you are to the couple i.e. family members and close friends will give more, while it is acceptable for acquaintances to give less. Numbers that end with numerical one are considered lucky, such as RM51, RM81, and so on. The current "market rate" for Indian weddings are between RM51 to RM101 per person.
NOTE: If you are attending both the wedding ceremony and reception, hand over your gift during the wedding ceremony.
5. It's common knowledge that Malaysian events usually don't start on time, but it pays to be punctual
The wedding ceremony strictly adheres to the stipulated time according to the auspicious window, so it's unlucky to miss that time window. Wedding receptions, however, may start later than scheduled.
6. Indian weddings make for gorgeous photography settings, but do check with your host if it is alright for you to take photos, especially during the wedding ceremony
During some of the rituals, particularly in a Hindu ceremony, even the official photographer may be barred in order to avoid distracting with the flash of the camera.
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7. Eat as much as your tummy can contain, because there will be a lot of food at both the wedding ceremony and reception
Food will be served, either on a banana leaf or buffet-style, after the ceremony is over. If the wedding ceremony is held in a temple, you will most likely be served vegetarian food.
Wedding receptions are usually buffet-style so you can pig out as much as you want, and don't forget to compliment your hosts!
8. Indian weddings are very social events, so make sure you mingle around, dance the night away, and even participate in some of the fun rituals!
Don’t worry too much about offending anyone’s sentiments. It's understandable that you may not be aware of all the customs and traditions, so no one will hold anything against you!
The most important part of attending an Indian wedding is getting actively involved in the ceremony. This means socialising with the extended family of the bride and groom, participating in the fun rituals, and getting on the dance floor and dancing your heart out during the reception. A good wedding guest, after all, is one who is truly enjoying him/herself!
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9. There will be a free-flow of alcoholic drinks at the wedding reception. That's great and all, but do remember to drink responsibly!
But this does not mean that you should take advantage of the free booze and get trashed. The last thing the bride and groom want to see on their wedding video is a drunken guest taking over the dance floor. Drink within your limit and don’t embarrass the couple or yourself.
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10. You're not expected to stay until the end of the event. Once you've had your fill of the food, given your monetary gift, socialised and danced to your heart's content, make sure to say "hello", take some photos, and thank the couple before leaving.
With the large number of people that are invited to some weddings, it is often easy for the bride and groom to forget to say hello to some guests. Don’t take this personally; make sure you steal a minute of their time to tell them how great they look and give them your blessings. They will appreciate your thoughts and won’t have to regret not getting the chance to thank you for coming.
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