Korean Woman Faces Charge For Abusing Boyfriend Over 18 Months Into Killing Himself

According to a letter informing Boston College students of his death, the student who died by suicide, Alexander Urtula, was from Cedar Grove, New Jersey.

Urtula was a biology major at Boston College. He was working as a researcher in a hospital in New York after he completed his course work in December last year, and had planned to attend the graduation ceremony in May.

According to The New York Times, Urtula's family, from New Jersey, was also in Boston that day to watch him receive his diploma.

The letter also stated the deceased was a gifted student involved in many college activities, including the Philippine Society of Boston College.

You, a 21-year-old student who was also studying in Boston College at the time, was "physically, verbally, and psychologically abusive" toward Urtula during their 18-month relationship that she caused him to kill himself, Suffolk County District Attorney Rachael Rollins told reporters at a press conference.

The abuse became "more frequent, more powerful, and more demeaning in the days and hours leading up to" Urtula's death, Rollins said, as quoted by The Washington Post.

Rollins added that family members and classmates of both parties had witnessed the abuse, which was also documented in Urtula's journal and in tens of thousands of text messages.

In those texts, the district attorney said, You urged Urtula hundreds of times to kill himself, using words like "go die" and "go kill yourself", and repeatedly saying that she, his family, and the world would be better off without him.

"You also used attempts and threats of self-harm to control Urtula," said Rollins.

"Many of the messages clearly display the power dynamic in the relationship wherein You had complete and total control over Urtula, both mentally and emotionally."

It was also found that You was aware of his spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse. Even still, she continued to encourage her boyfriend to take his own life.

"The indictment alleges You's behaviour was wanton and reckless, and resulted in overwhelming Urtula's will to live," Rollins said, "and that she created life-threatening conditions for him that she had a legal duty to alleviate, which, we allege, she failed to do."

"Domestic violence may not always look the same," she added, "but it is always about power and control."

She is currently in South Korea, where she is from, Rollins said.

Prosecutors said that a grand jury returned an indictment in the case this month, and that they were working to secure You's return to the United States.

"We're in contact with somebody who is saying that they're representing her, to see if she will voluntarily return," Ms. Rollins said. "If she does not, we will utilise the power we have to get her back."

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