lifestyle

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Rush Into Marriage Just Yet

Just because most of your friends are getting married, doesn't mean you should too. Marriage is not a race to the altar!

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So, most of your friends are getting married... except for you and your partner. To complicate matters, friends and family are already asking, "When is it your turn?". Sure, you're both in love and marriage seems to be the next logical step, but before you jump into a hasty decision, here are some reasons why you shouldn't give in to the pressure to tie the knot just yet:

1. You only get to experience the special time between falling in love and getting married once. Allow room for you and your partner to grow as individuals and for your relationship to grow naturally as a couple.

Relationships cannot be rushed to maturity. This is your time to nurture your relationship, work out all the kinks, and be sure that it has all the potential to just get better and better as time goes on. Give yourselves the opportunity to bond in new ways over new things without being married. Relationships and marriage are just like everything else in life - if you force them, if you rush them, it’s not going to go well.

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2. Speaking of which, consider your priorities in life before deciding on marriage. Make sure you are both on the same page about each other's career goals as well as personal achievements and experiences. In short, live your life to the fullest before thinking about settling down.

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Marriage comes with a hell lot of responsibilities and compromises, and subjecting yourself to all these negotiations may make you wonder a few years down the life if you have missed any opportunities and not built for yourself a life you deserved and wanted.

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Educate yourself, travel as much as you can, know people, make friends, develop a career, and then say “I do”. Life’s like a cycle. Complete each stage before moving onto the next. Don’t rush because you won’t be able to go back, to finish the unfinished business.

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3. Rushing into marriage does not guarantee that the relationship will not fall apart. You don’t want to have regrets and wonder what things would have been like if you hadn't rushed into settling down so quickly with your partner.

Regrets and what ifs can also cause a lot of drama and tension in a relationship if you or your partner begin to think that things might have gone better for you if had made a different choice. You definitely don’t want to end up feeling like you have settled.

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4. Just because you haven't tied the knot, that doesn't mean your relationship is "incomplete". Not being married does not mean you are alone or that you don't have somebody to trust and to count on in times of need.

If you're married, it's generally assumed you'll always have somebody - for better or worse. But when you're not married, you'll also always have somebody for better or worse, somebody to count on, love, laugh with, fight with, miss, confide in and rely on. You don't need to be married to have all the things marriage is supposed to give you - a life rich with experience and intimacy.

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5. There are certain things you have to reflect upon before getting marriage. For one, the compatibility of you and your partner's characteristics and personalities. You might have known each other well enough to a certain extent, but are you ready to stand beside your partner in his or her ugliest phase of emotions?

The challenge has toughened now that you need to explore the well-hidden emotions from what may lead you into doubting if you are the one for each other. Oftentimes, our compassion for the other half fades when he or she reacts unexpectedly in times of crises. This is the reality of a relationship that you will face when you two do get into marriage.

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6. Weddings can be expensive, so the both of you should evaluate your financial situations before deciding to get married. You don't want to spend your married life in debt, and you'd be surprised by how often couples fight because of money.

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Being married means agreeing to share the salaries, settle the bills and compromise on shopping allowances. Although some couples open a joint account and do business together even before they get married, permanently sharing your financial system with another person is a whole new level altogether.

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Waiting to tie the knot will give you time to formulate a feasible living budget that will fit the lifestyle you anticipate. With house payments, car payments, extraneous bills, and family needs, you may feel like you’re barely hanging on.

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7. Marriage is a life-long commitment that comes with responsibilities, money, children, and routines which require maturity, hard work and compromise from both sides. Are the both of you mature enough to deal with all that?

The house chores, the errands, cooking, the education of your child, etc. are all a part and parcel of marriage and no person, who isn’t mature enough, can look after all these things simultaneously.

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8. Marriage is not just a union between you and your partner, it's a union between both your families. This is especially true for the Asian society, so you will have to be ready to face both positive and negative responses upon your relationship becoming official.

We all go through highs and lows in the relationship with our own family, and being in a serious relationship means having yet another set of family. Preferences aside, being a part of his family is in some sense trickier than meeting them for the first time – with 2-seconds judgement included. Ask yourself: Am I ready to be a part of his family? Is my family ready to welcome him? (and vice versa)

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9. Trust is essential in any relationship, and it goes without saying that it applies in making a marriage work as well. Being married means you will be sharing almost every aspect of life with your partner, which includes - like it or not - coming clean about your emotional baggage with your partner and vice versa.

The saying ‘our past determines our future’ doesn’t ring true for many things, but relationship is not one of them. Childhood nightmares, toxic relationship experiences and the scars that remain after bitter encounter with others are, and would be, affecting your present relationship; creeping into your minds when we least expect it. All that, fortunately, could slowly be resolved if you are willing to share your baggages with your partner.

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10. Ultimately, marriage is a decision that will last for you and your partner's entire life. Take all the time you need to really think about it and ask yourselves if you are both physically and emotionally ready to take the next step in your relationship.

If you have decided on getting hitched, then you should know that weddings require a lot of planning. To help you get started, look up these wedding websites we have curated on SAYS:

Heading to a Chinese wedding soon? Here are some tips we've prepared for you:

ICYMI, The Big Group CEO Benjamin Yong and Bowerhaus Jewellery's Elizabeth Lee celebrated their union in October with a lavish wedding banquet and carnival-themed reception. Check out the photos from their nuptials HERE:

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