Malaysian Parents Admit The Lies They Tell Their Kids To Make Them Poop
"You make the best poop in the world!"
Published for DUMEX MAMIL, 30 Nov 2017, 04:26 PM
1. The lonely poop that desperately wants to be friends with the toilet
"My daughter is always holding in her poop because she doesn't want to stop playing. So I told her that her poop is lonely inside her bum bum and wants to make friends with the toilet. The next time she said her tummy 'pain-pain' I told her the poo poo wants to be with her friend, the toilet. She rushed the toilet and after she was done, she was so happy and proud. She told me, 'Look Mummy, the poo poo and toilet are friends now!'"
- Tyna, 33, Stay-at-home mum.
2. All the pretend bribes and empty promises
"I would promise my daughter she can have ice cream or chocolate or snacks if she would just stop what she's doing and go to the toilet. But once she's done, I'll tell her that she complained too much or moved too slow that she cannot have a treat. Hahaha. Ok lah, sometimes I'll give her ice cream if she's a good girl."
- Ee Lynn, 35, Manager.
3. The child that makes the best poop in the world
"My son has a tendency to keep his poop in, which is really unhealthy. So one time after he went to the toilet I made a big deal about how cool his poop looked. Kept complimenting and praising the poop. YOU MAKE THE BEST POOP IN THE WORLD! I even took a picture of it to show him how amazing it was. He was so excited that after that he ALWAYS goes to the toilet on time, and will insist I take a picture of his poop because it's the best poop in the world... My phone gallery is disgusting right now."
- Josephine, 30, Graphic designer.
4. The hungry toilet that needs to eat in order to live
"To get my kid to poop, I had to tell him that the potty was hungry and needed to eat poop to survive. Hahahaha. My kid was so sad, sweet child. So he would go poop to feed the toilet."
- Anna, 36, HR Manager.
5. The little girl who checks her poop in case she turned into a unicorn
"Did you know unicorns have rainbow poop? They poop rainbows. My daughter wants to be a unicorn. I told her she will only be a real unicorn when she poops rainbows. Every day she's excited to poop just to check if it's a rainbow. Did you know that unicorns also always brush their teeth, eat their veggies, and go to bed early? ;)"
- Yong Sheng, 34, Digital marketer.
6. The magical toilet that protects us from Voldemort
"My son is quite hyper, always running, jumping, bouncing off the walls. He has no interest in sitting down to poop. So I started reading Harry Potter to him, but ONLY in the toilet during poop time. I told him 'He Who Must Not Be Named' will never come into a toilet so we are safe to read about him there. He loves Harry so much that he looks forward to poop time so he can hear more of the story. Of course, after he's done, I'll still finish reading the chapter to him in the bedroom. But only after he poops!"
- Jie Yi, 31, Marketing executive.
7. Poop patrol is watching, so you better go toilet
"I told my kids that if they don't poop, the police will come and catch them and put them in jail. They poop now. No problem. But they're scared of the police now too. Might be a problem..."
- Jia Ping, 29, Sales.
8. There are creatures living in your tummy that will eat you alive
"I tell my kids there are worms living in their tummies and they have to poo to get them out. Otherwise the worms will eat them and come out through their belly buttons. Lol."
- Jeff, 34, Digital creative lead.
9. Your body will be full of poo and... your head will explode
"I tell my daughter that her poo is at half level in her body tank. If she doesn't go ng ng, the poo will keep rising in her body tank until it spills out of her head."
- Cheryl, 30, Video editor.
