Malaysians Share Red Flags In Men So You Can Stop Being Delulu (Part 1)
We hope red isn't your favourite colour.
By Melissa Alvina — 12 Dec 2023, 04:29 PM
Love has a way of making everything look like sunshine and rainbows
But before you know it, you may find yourself wondering how you missed those red flags waving right in front of your eyes.
We asked several Malaysians to share some red flags in men one should look out for and here's what they said:
1. "He love bombed me at the beginning and then stopped putting in effort after a few months"
"My ex used to shower me with all these sweet words like 'I would never find anyone as amazing, kind, and sweet as you' and 'You're honestly the best girl ever, what did I ever do to deserve someone so loving and caring as you?'
"But then, he would guilt-trip me whenever I hung out with my guy friends. He would always be suspicious of me and think that I'm cheating.
"I also stopped wearing contact lenses and makeup when going out because he said I only do that because I like having people look at me."
- Alia, 27 years old
2. "When he is unemployed and absolutely not busy but only texts you at midnight"
"Also, take note of how he speakers to service workers. I always thank waiters after they serve me food, but my ex would say things like, 'Why are you thanking him, he works here right? That's his job'."
- Sarah Irdina, 23 years old
3. "My friend's boyfriend doesn't allow her to be friends with anyone else"
"She's only allowed to talk to her boyfriend. He even made her unfollow all of us on social media."
- Mia, 20 years old
4. "When he is ALWAYS the victim of the situation in the stories he tells you about his life" — Aimannur, 24 years old
6. "If they talk in a very condescending way about foreigners, especially service workers"
"I've noticed the way they speak about foreigners. If it's a white person, they will speak so highly of them, but if it's a Bangladeshi worker, they will talk in a very condescending way. That is such a red flag."
- Crystal Emmalyne, 25 years old
7. "If he's protective of his phone, always places the screen facing down, and never lets anyone touch it" — Syaz, 30 years old
8. "When he doesn't treat you differently from other girls and says 'Oh, we're just friends' instead of assuring you" — Vina, 27 years old
9. "When they make unreasonable demands"
"When my friend was in a relationship with her ex, he would always demand to check her WhatsApp because he wanted to make sure that his chat/name was at the top of the list.
"He would not be happy if his name was somewhere at the bottom of the list. He would start scolding her, saying things like, 'You don't prioritise me. Why isn't my name at the top of the chat? It should always be at the top'.
"Another friend of mine was in a very toxic relationship. So, she tried to end things with him. But every time she tried to break up with him, he would threaten her saying that he would kill himself if she left him. He said that if he died, it would be on her because she was the one who wanted to dump him.
"I also had this one friend whose ex wouldn't let her go out in public unless she wore makeup because she had a lot of acne scars on her face. He would also force her to shave her hands and legs because he didn't like seeing her with body hair."
- Rebecca, 30 years old
