"I Earned My Success" — Self-Proclaimed Nepo Baby Explains Why Her Achievements Are Valid
If your first car was a BMW and your first salary was RM5,000, are you considered a 'nepo baby'?
By Wayne Garreth — 28 Feb 2023, 11:08 AM
We're often told that with hard work and determination, we can achieve anything we set our minds to.
But in a world where an upper hand or two can really make a difference, what do people consider hard work these days?
Highly discussed over the past few years, the idea of nepotism has plagued professional sectors and personal privileges for aeons across the globe. The thought that a person's status or success is only attributed to an advantage they may have gotten at some point in their life has called for a reconsideration of what it truly takes to 'earn your keep'.
In an attempt to fully understand what it means to be a child of nepotism or privileged circumstances, we recently sat down with a person who describes herself as a 'nepo baby', to discuss a plethora of factors relating to her personal and vocational life.
However, is her life's journey the result of perpetual conviction towards an ultimate goal, or was it her birth into a well-established lineage of affluence that was the tipping point for a continuation of generational fortune?
Disclaimer: The name of the interviewee has been changed for privacy purposes.
28-year-old Kiran is a self-proclaimed child of nepotism.
Growing up with a fair amount of privilege, Kiran is open about the success she's achieved in her life — though she believes that irrespective of those advantages, she'd still be where she is today.
"I don't really see how it's fair to discredit someone's hard work and success just because they had one or two advantages in life. I've earned my success, I made sure that I was responsible when making crucial decisions, and I don't think I should be made to feel bad about that," she said to this SAYS writer.
After the release of an article by US-based publication, New York Magazine, a new buzzword has been circulating the Internet in reference to children who came from a fair degree of wealth and privilege — The Nepo Baby. Used as a short-form for 'nepotism baby', we asked Kiran what her take on this term really means.
"I think if we're speaking in relation to the article, nepo babies are simply kids of celebrities who are successful due to connections provided by their family, insinuating that they didn't do much to add to their own success. But if we're speaking in the general context of nepotism, it just means someone who was favoured by close connections to be put in a place of power or advantage," said Kiran.
The official cover image for New York Magazine's article on nepo babies.
Image via Joe Darrow/New York MagazineHowever, Kiran cleared up the perception of what being a recipient of this kind of privilege would mean.
"Someone can always be handed something, but it doesn't mean that they'll always do it justice," she added.
Embarking on a tale of her life, Kiran noted that while her childhood may have been filled with some of the best things money could buy, she suffered tremendously when it came to her parents' relationship
"My parents got divorced when I was three, so I never had the ideal childhood. A lot of my life was spent being shuffled between different houses and trying to make sense of everything around me that constantly shifted," she explained.
Providing context, Kiran mentioned that at the age of five, her mother married an heir to a substantial fortune. Shortly after, her father's personal business started to boom, which resulted in a complete change in her lifestyle, moving from a middle-class life to an upper one in just a couple of years.
"We moved from KL to Mont Kiara, and I was enrolled in a private school at the age of seven. I don't like to view it any differently from public schools as I genuinely don't see a significant difference in my life path. I had long schooling hours, just like any other kid, I had extra curricular activities, just like any other kid, and I took SPM, too."
Nevertheless, Kiran was forthright about the dynamic within her family that accounted for the reasons as to why she was enrolled in a private school.
"My father was a businessman, so having classmates who had parents who were architects, commercial agents, and even socialites — it was definitely a mutually beneficial relationship for the kids as it was for the parents. We didn't know until we got older that we'd just be playing in the living room while our parents would link up to create their own professional projects," she explained.
Despite a clear calculative effort taken by both sets of parents in such a circumstance, Kiran defended such actions by saying that mutual partnerships are only possible in the world of business if each partner agrees to it.
As completing secondary school, Kiran stated that there was nothing less expected out of her other than going overseas to complete her tertiary education.
In fact, it was the only option.
"After I graduated secondary school, it was off to the academic races for me again. My parents enrolled me in a pre-university course in Perth, Western Australia, so I was away from home before I even got my SPM results," said Kiran.
When she completed the course, Kiran stated that her mother didn't really give her a choice for her university degree, and immediately applied for her to enrol in an accountancy degree, a similar study to what her mother herself studied in her youth.
Along the way, Kiran maintained a determined spirit to make it through her degree, despite having failed three semesters through her course.
"I understand the repeated opportunity I had with my parents repaying my international education fees more than once. It's something most kids don't get. But I still tried my hardest and graduated with honours."
Altogether, Kiran revealed that her parents contributed more than RM500,000 to complete her entire degree, without any loan or external monetary assistance. Throughout her tenure, she was candid about not having worked a single job, having survived solely off her parents' allowance for about four years while in Australia.
"It was hard trying to reduce my spending habits due to the people I hung around with. So paying money for club entries, weekend brunches, and birthday parties was normal in all honesty. My allowance at the time was about AUD6,000 per month (approximately RM18,000)," she confessed.
Kiran also stated that she had her father's credit card on disposal, to use any time she had an emergency.
In a report that was drawn up by the Malaysian Department of Statistics, only 5.61 million Malaysians obtained bachelors degrees in 2021. However, the labour force for that same year encompassed about 16.3 million people, showing that only 34.42% of those working Malaysians possessed a bachelors degree, less than half of the working population.
"I was lucky enough to get my first job at one of the Big Four accounting firms as an auditor — and it was the first place I scored an interview at"
Upon returning to Malaysia, Kiran noted that her mother, who worked at one of the Big Four accounting firms, set up an interview process for her to become an auditor at the firm. Kiran revealed that her mother had been a contributing staff member to one of the financial departments for many years.
"I'm aware that having a parent who dedicated over 15 years of her career to one of the top accounting firms in the world had an impact on me to get my foot in the door. No one gives us any benefit of the doubt for the extra pressure that's on us in that case — feeling as though we don't deserve to be there, so we have to prove ourselves twice as much as our other peers around us.
"But landing someone an interview doesn't mean they will land the job, or even keep it for that matter. The hard work and sleepless nights I have put into my work will never be understood by those who haven't seen my effort," Kiran explained.
Drawing on the job process, Kiran was hired with a 'beginners' salary of RM5,000 with no prior work experience or internship. "I was told that it was the amount any person who applied for the same role would get," she stated.
Due to professional responsibilities that required her to be more independent, Kiran later informed her parents of her necessity to get a car. Fortunately for her, Kiran stated that her step-father had purchased a BMW for her as a congratulatory present for landing her first job.
"He covered the down payment for the vehicle, and I needed to follow through with the remainder. I was grateful he did that for me. I just needed something that would get me from point A to point B, and he did so much more than that," she added.
Down the line, Kiran stated that the elevation of her performance required her to attain a certificate of practice necessary to further her work responsibilities, to which her parents, once again, sponsored her education back to Australia to attain.
On the personal side of things, Kiran stated that though her recent marriage to her partner of four years was costly, anyone would go all out for an occasion that is truly priceless
In an attempt to create the wedding of her dreams, Kiran stated that both of her parents went all out to meet her true vision when celebrating her nuptials.
To provide additional assistance, Kiran said that her father had hired wedding planners for her ceremony, who took care of all the aspects pertaining to the celebration. On top of that, her step-father's membership to the hotel helped knock off the prices for multiple costly expenditures.
"I dished out ideas and they came back to me with concepts. A huge hope of mine was to not spend that period stressed out. I wanted my wedding to be memorable, I wanted to look back on it with nothing less than joy and laughter," she added.
Dishing out the opportunities she had been able to garner as a newly-married woman, Kiran stated that she was able to purchase two houses before getting married, one under a joint name with her mother, and another that solely belongs to her.
Explaining the trickle effect this early experience had on her, Kiran stated that the concept of financial literacy helped her manoeuvre a variation of personal commercial decisions that many would not have had, had it not been for her parents instilling these values in her early on.
"It made it easier for my husband and I to buy a family home with an open mind. Property is no joke, especially in Malaysia. I know that I'm very lucky to not have any prior loans, so I am able to maintain my mortgages without struggling."
Rounding out our conversation, Kiran exclusively told SAYS that while she may have received monumental opportunities throughout her life, it cannot solely account for her success
Giving her personal take on the issue of nepotism, Kiran said that she has been no stranger to experiencing imposter syndrome, a psychological occurrence where individuals doubt their skills while having a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud.
"Sometimes, when people confront me about my privilege in a very hostile manner, I myself get very defensive. Fact of the matter is, any person would choose the more doable option to get themselves across the finish line faster — but not everyone has the chance.
"I understand that, and I don't want to make it seem as though I am bratty or selfish with my freedom to choose. I recognise my privilege. But it doesn't mean that everything has been a straight road. I have had difficult moments too, I am trying to make my way to be as successful as I can be. Isn't that what we're all trying to do?" she asked.
In speaking to other individuals who may have an upper hand in their personal circumstances, Kiran added that the best thing to do is to work hard with what you've been given.
"There's nothing worse that having people view you as an undeserving nepo baby — and you proving them right by not giving 100% every single day."
In an attempt to help majority of Malaysians understand nepo babies who are perceived negatively, Kiran had this to say:
All we want is a chance. Let us show you that we would be here with or without the extra help, because most of us do.
