"I Earn 3 Times More Than Him" — Woman Reconsiders Marrying Her Fiancé Due To His Finances
"Every time we go out, I end up paying for everything."
By Wayne Garreth — 02 Feb 2023, 10:53 AM
Relationships are all about giving and taking.
But is there such a thing as taking too much from your partner?
A recent confession posted to the Malaysian-based Twitter page TwtWedding has been going viral after one woman sought advice to resolve an issue she's currently facing in her relationship.
Remaining anonymous, the confessor begins her post by mentioning how she and her boyfriend have been together for almost two years now, and are considering tying the knot soon.
"We love each other a lot, but there is one problem in our relationship. I earn three times more than him and he earns just enough to buy food for himself," the confessor penned.
Continuing on, the confessor stated that his earnings don't even cover his food sometimes, and that he has gone hungry on multiple occasions. "In those instances, I have to give him money for him to just eat."
"Every time we go out, I end up paying for everything"
The confessor candidly expressed how she doesn't mean to count every cent in their relationship, but she would like to experience what it would be like to be splurged on — or at least split the overall bill here and there.
"He didn't get me anything for my birthday. If I ever say that I don't want to meet up, he will sulk over it," she confessed.
Pondering over whether to continue the relationship, the confessor said that she often wonders how their future will pan out together if they decide to get married.
"I've asked him to switch jobs, but I understand that it's not easy to do that, especially now. I think to myself, if we get married, would he be able to support me and support our future children? Nowadays, you need money for everything."
Ending her confession, the user stated that she is at a crossroads, and needs advice over what to do next.
"I really don't know what to decide on," she concluded.
Gaining traction on Twitter, many Malaysians chimed in with their thoughts over what they feel the confessor should do
A fair amount of comments advised the woman to leave her fiancé, saying that if he is hesitant to financially contribute to their relationship now, it'll only get worse with time.
"If they want you, they'll show it. Words and actions together. If throughout your relationship there has been no change, understand that they just want a partner to casually hang out with," wrote one user.
"There's no point trying," penned another person. "Find someone else," they advised.
Taking this thought process one step further, one Twitter user said how she feels like the confessor's fiancé is just taking her for a ride to enjoy the money she has earned.
"He knows you have a big salary. Of course he's enjoying going out! After this, try pretending like you don't have enough money, or that your salary got cut, or you have no money to eat. See what his reaction would be," she said.
Differing slightly on the matter, other users said that the issue should not be whether the man is earning a lot of money or not, but his effort when it comes to his work.
"You have to see if he's the type of man who's responsible and hardworking or not? Or is he that species of man that is just lazy and will become a bane of life after marriage. I don't care if his salary is little, but he has to be hardworking. If he's lazy, I'd say bye immediately," wrote one user.
Providing insight on the matter, one user said that before she was married to her husband, he was only earning RM1,000 a month, but still found time to splurge on her where he could.
"He never used to spend money on me. But after he would receive his salary, he would buy things for me. That's the effort."
However, one of the most fruitful comments of the lot came from a user who enlightened the comments section about what marriage is truly all about: meeting in the middle.
"If you are paying for everything, he should do some extra things like completing chores or have a side income. If there's no effort to meet in the middle, problems will arise soon enough. If he's not willing at the beginning, it'll be better to end it now."
While this confessor's fiancé hasn't paid for anything, another boyfriend who gives his girlfriend RM2,000 a month asked if he is giving her too little:
