Malaysian Parents Borrow RM20,000 From Loan Shark After Son Refuses To Pay For Wedding
What would you give to have your dream wedding?
While some prioritise certain aspects more than others, the illusion of living out your 'dream' may cost you more than what you'd expect.
On 23 August, a Tweet went viral after screenshots of a confession by a sister about her brother were posted by a Malaysian Malay wedding account, called TwtWedding. Usually sharing marriage advise, tips, and recommendations for Malay couples getting married, this tweet caught users by storm for all the wrong reasons.
While the name of the user was redacted, leaving her anonymous, she goes on to write a long series of messages detailing her frustrations towards her brother, and how her parents borrowed RM20,000 from a loan shark to pay for his wedding.
The user begins her rant by explaining the basis of the situation, "My brother got married earlier this year, and we had the wedding ceremony accordingly."
However, things quickly take a turn once she starts elaborating on the situation. "Before the wedding, my brother never brought the girl over to meet my parents at all. We only know that she is a widow with one child."
The user goes on to state that her brother doesn't even talk about the girl or give any details of her background to their family. After getting engaged, she stated that her brother stopped going to work. "He works as a food vendor. But he stopped going to his store and stopped buying supplies."
When discussing matters relating to the wedding, the confessor stated that the ceremony would only include guests from the groom's side, as the mother of the bride didn't want her siblings to know that her daughter is a divorcee. "We started to think something weird was going on — our intentions were good, but we had to keep it a secret."
Somewhat exacerbating matters, the user went on to reveal that the invite list contained 1,000 projected guests for the wedding
"For a bigger wedding, of course more has to be done."
Two weeks before the marriage, the user stated that her brother still didn't provide her and the family with any money to prepare for the ceremony. "My mother started to panic because she had already sent out the invitations. She started to question my brother and he told her he didn't have any money. But my mother didn't want to cancel the event because it would be so embarrassing for us," said the user.
"Taking the easy way out, she borrowed money from a loan shark."
"My parents borrowed RM20,000 from a loan shark. It's sad because they're only factory workers — how are they going to repay the loan once they retire in two years?"
"They paid for the entire wedding," said the user in reference to her parents. "My brother only paid for the wedding dais and the bride's dress, which in total cost more than RM7,000. A dais for RM5,000? Our hearts broke."
Moving on to the day of the wedding, the user explained how despite seeing her mother happy when mingling with her siblings, she'd excuse herself to cry over the debt they accumulated for the wedding. "She would be thinking about the unpaid bills for the chicken and beef [served at the wedding], paying the chefs, [and] paying the DJ."
While it seemed as though the family held themselves together for the main event, things soon unraveled to be a true nightmare. "At 2.30pm, the bride went for her [wedding] photoshoot. It was so embarrassing to not have the couple there to greet my parents' siblings. When the wedding finished around 6pm, we waited for the bride to return and let her clean the plates."
"It was sad to see my mother cry in front of her siblings over her child behaving this way."
And though it seemed as though the situation couldn't get any worse, the newlyweds' plan for their honeymoon threw the whole family for a loop
"After the wedding, we found out they went to Sabah for their honeymoon. We were absolutely shocked, because he said he didn't have money for the ceremony — but he has the money to go for a honeymoon."
The long rant ends with the user expressing her own frustrations as the only girl in a family of boys. "All the responsibility falls on me. All my salary goes to the house, so much so I don't even have any savings to spare. My parents use their earnings to pay the loan shark."
Having expressed her own intentions to get married, she voiced how her brothers and parents won't allow it as there would be no one left to look after her parents, "It upsets me very much."
Since tweeting the messages, the post subsequently garnered over 3,000 likes and 2,000 retweets
However, there were a fair share of commenters who criticised the parents for borrowing money from a loan shark as well
"Borrowing money from a loan shark just so you can save face isn't wise either," noted one, while another wrote, "Are the parents not thinking long-term by going to a loan shark? It's better to be embarrassed for a day."
Another commenter took the harsher route, heavily criticising the parents. "The parents are being too much. You don't have a wedding and invite 1,000 people. It seems as though the son didn't want a big wedding, but the parents still went to a loan shark. It's in their face."
An additional user even posed the question, "Which is cheaper, cancelling the wedding or borrowing money from a loan shark?"
One comment, however, addressed the issue of the daughter being 'responsible for her parents', and wrote that it should not be the case.
"As a son, he is supposed to take care of his parents. The responsibility falls on him. But why has it reached a point where they won't allow their sister to get married, and force her to take care of their parents?"
On the opposite side of the spectrum, a father was criticised for not spending enough on his son's birthday:
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