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From Moaning Someone Else's Name To Trying Anal: M'sians Share Their Funniest Sex Stories

"Now I know what my own meow meow tastes like."

Cover image via Choo Choy May/Malay Mail & Dainis Graveris/Unsplash

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Disclaimer: The contents of this article are adult in nature. Reader discretion is advised. 

Names have also been changed for privacy purposes.

Sex may not always be romantic and hot as portrayed on the big screen

Sometimes, one may have a funny and awkward sex experience and, honestly, we are here for it!

For this story, SAYS asked Malaysians to share their funniest sex experiences and here are the best six stories we received:

Image via Poms/Giphy

1. "It's always the young and dumb mistakes, am I right?"

"My boyfriend (at the time) and I had pretty strict parents when it came to our relationship, since it was both of our firsts, so we couldn't go to each other's house often. Because of that, it [wasn't] surprising that most of our 'encounters' were at school. 

"The first time we ever did something sexual was on a very secluded staircase in our school, and both of us [thought] we would never get caught there. 

"WRONG.

"Halfway through, we started hearing voices and keys jiggling down the corridor. We didn't notice it early enough and basically jumped off each other right in time to not let people see what was going down, even though it was pretty obvious. 

"I was terrified of the situation, so I walked a flight down the stairs and pretended to be on a phone call when people saw us, while my poor ex had to stand there getting told off by the security guard to not wait there after school.

"It's a very embarrassing but also funny first time encounter looking back at it now." — Lily

Image via The Swoon/GIPHY

2. "A one-night stand called out another guy's name during sex. Later, I found out, after connecting on social media, that it was her brother's name. Sweet Home Alabama." — Ariel

3. "We wanted to try anal"

"Lube is needed for it. We were at my friend's house. I had no idea where the lube [was] kept. 

"So, I told her [that] there was [a] hand sanitiser in my bag, so [we used] it. She got up and brought (the) hand sanitiser. She applied it to her hands as I waited.

"I asked her, 'What is taking you so long?' She replied, 'It dried up!'

"We dropped the idea after that, although after laughing." — Mr Albert

Image for illustration purposes only.

Image via Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

4. "I barfed all over his dick"

"I went out clubbing on a double date. On the way home, I was in the backseat with the dude while my friend and the other dude were in the front.

"I was giving the dude head, but I was very drunk and I barfed all over his dick." — Calliope

Image via HBO/GIPHY

5. "Now I know what my own meow meow tastes like"

"My boyfriend took out the condom to check for leakage after sex, and I realised it was a flavoured one. Not sure why, but I suddenly wondered [what] it tasted like and proceeded to lick it.

"My boyfriend stared at me in shock...and I now know what my own meow meow tastes like." — Rachel

Image for illustration purposes only.

Image via Marketing-Interactive

6. "Experience was 7/10, use proper protection"

"Me and my partner started our relationship after getting to know each other and finishing university together. Unfortunately, COVID-19 came during March in Malaysia, so it was such a turn-off to start our relationship as a long-distance relationship (LDR) through calls and text message.

"We lived a 20-minute drive away from each other, but still neither of us wanted to risk seeing each other. But, there was this one evening when we planned to meet at a nearby park. We both reached the park and it was raining heavily, so we had to run back to the car.

"In the car, we both started to get a little bit hot and pinkish. We started making out in the backseat after confirming (we both tested) negative [on] swab tests.

"The only thing that could be used in the car were disposable gloves (which were there because of the COVID-19 era) and we used one as a condom, but after five minutes, it broke. So, we decided to go bare and continue our love-making session because we were too horny.

"Experience was 7/10, use proper protection." — Mazih

Image used for illustration purposes only.

Image via Cosmopolitan

Look out for more #sexualhealth stories and tips this month!

From contraceptives to vibrators, and intimacy to abstinence, no topic is off limits. Join us in normalising conversations surrounding sexual health.

Image via SAYS

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