Malaysians Share Who Should Pay On A First Date And Why
"If I think I make more money, then I should offer to pay."
By Tamara Jayne — 28 Jan 2022, 05:34 PM
"If she doesn't say [anything] then dude should always pay first lah"
"Well, I still believe in chivalry so dude must pay on the first date. But if the woman genuinely wants to split/pay then it's also her choice. But if she doesn't say then dude should always pay first lah." — Dan, 28
"Things might not work out so why get a total stranger to pay for your meal?"
"If you're still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage and there are no feelings or anything serious yet, go Dutch because things might not work out. So why get a total stranger to pay for your meal? But if I like the person and we've discussed it, see the relationship going somewhere, then if you wanna woo me, I won't say no. :P
"I don't feel comfortable getting a stranger to pay for my meal. Only if there are feelings and sparks flying or we see that the relationship can go long term, then the guy wanna woo me can lah. Haha. — Fionaa, 26
"Dating around is supposed to be casual and fun; if you're constantly being expected to pay for someone's meal — it can get really costly"
"I think by default, both parties should go on a date expecting to pay for their own meals. It honestly doesn't matter who initiates the date, it's just the first meeting between two strangers, no one should feel obligated to pay for the other.
"And no one should feel entitled to have their food paid for. Dating around is supposed to be casual and fun; if you're constantly being expected to pay for someone's meal — it can get really costly. And in THIS ECONOMY? I don't think so. However, having someone (who is financially stable enough) offer to pay for the meal is definitely a bonus!" — Ihsan, 27
"If paying on the first date is what qualifies as a gentleman then screw that date"
"It's the 21st century. Men shouldn't be expected to pay on the first date. If paying on the first date is what qualifies as a gentleman then screw that date. HAHA. There are so many other ways to be a gentleman.
"I think both parties should go Dutch 'cause it's only the first dateeeeee. A chance for two people to get to know each other better and see if it works out. If we have gone on a few dates or are in a relationship, then yeah, I don't mind paying for both of us at all." — Timothy, 24
"I personally don't care who pays unless the inviter brings you to an expensive place then yes, it would be polite for the inviter to pay"
"I'm not too concerned about societal 'rules'. Of course, a free night out is always nice but if it's within my budget and the inviter is nice about it, I don't feel they need to pay for my half. I personally don't care who pays unless the inviter brings you to an expensive place then yes, it would be polite for the inviter to pay." — Joanna, 35
"YOU GO OUT WITH STRANGER. YOU EXPECT STRANGER PAY???? WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? >:("
"I don't mind who pays but if they do it happily then it's a good time. It makes me want to get the next one." — Jane, 34
"If I think I make more money, then I should offer to pay"
"In my personal point of view, it really depends who I am going out with. If the person is a little bit conservative and appreciates if their date pays for the meal, I don't mind paying. It also depends on whether they are a few years younger than me as that could indicate how much they make. If I think I make more money, then I should offer to pay.
"But if the person takes a more progressive view in life and is an egalitarian, I will go Dutch with them. Or I can pay for the dinner and they can pay for the dessert or drinks at the next location.
"With that said, some people on the Internet put forth a very good argument about how much women spend on their makeup and hair to look good for their dates. One post I read details how women spend three figures on their looks every month, so it's only 'natural' for men to pay on the first date. Well, not everyone is the same. But it's something to consider. All in all, it depends on what kind of value you expect from a partner. However, we should spend within our means when we go on dates. Having fun shouldn't break the bank! — Wan Xiang, 28
