You may not know this, but when I first started writing online, I focused on relationship advice.
I thought I knew enough to tell people how to improve their love lives.
Now that I'm older, I realise how foolish I was. Feeling love may be easy, but relationships are hard.
Thankfully, wisdom can be found if we humble ourselves and look for it. Often, you just need to ask. May these pieces of advice bless your relationships as much as they have blessed mine, and will continue to.
"I've been married for 23 years and the keys to a happy marriage are tolerance, patience, and understanding. This is in addition to empathy. When you're boyfriend and girlfriend, you won't mind all the flaws and imperfections as you're not living together day in, day out.
"But when you live together, you also have her friends and relatives that you need to practice tolerance with and be more understanding. Remember: love is not about romance but more of acceptance."
– Ra Sarimah.
"Always remember that both are flawed and imperfect. We marry the person we know we can grow and learn together with. #GrowthMindset.
"'She's not doing things on purpose, she just doesn't know it yet.' TALK about things that bother you — not to critique, but to improve.
"Also, seek validation daily: 'What have I been doing right/wrong and how does it make you feel?'"
– Rz Rsln.
Burdens and hard times
"Marriage is about sharing, (consistently) cutting some slack and carrying the load together. Possibly the hardest test of every marriage is when kids happen. If you're not used to liking kids/infants, you gotta get a head start now. Kids come with lots of responsibilities and LOTS of expenses.
"Hard times are inevitable when you progress through a marriage. For those times, come clean and lay all issues/pain points on the table — then discuss them thoroughly with your spouse. I've seen many couples avoiding these hard conversations, and as a result, their relationship suffers.
"Enough with the heavy stuff: All the best and godspeed."
– StazOne R. Garage.
"My best piece of advice is to be able to ask for and give forgiveness to each other. I know it sounds obvious, but it can be quite healing.
"After a heated argument, when you both have cooled down, the person who feels they were in the wrong asks for forgiveness, and then the other hugs them and says "I forgive you!" It is healing and allows you both to close that incident, let it go, and move on. Simple but powerful.
"Best to try it and see if it works with the style of relationship you both have. I hope it all goes well."
– Chris Williams.
Consistency and gratitude
"No grand gesture will ever beat consistency. Always choose kindness over being right. Acknowledge your faults, apologise, and make up for it with changed behaviour. Never let your partner fill in the blanks when they are in need of reassurance and tenderness.
"Thank your partner always. Thank them for the little things they do, for their love, their patience and understanding, for always being your support system, and for always being themselves. Never let a day go by without thanking them for sharing their life with you."
– 片桐明 (Akira Katagiri).
The full article originally appeared on mr-stingy.com.
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In the meantime, do you know your love language?