What You Should Stop Wearing When You Hit Your 30s
Here are 11 things you should probably throw out before you hit 30! Just in case, you know, you ever try to squeeze into what your 21-year-old self wore eons ago.
By Judith Yeoh — 28 Oct 2013, 02:07 PM — Updated over 10 years ago
1. Body spray
Step your grown person's sh*t up and pay for a real fragrance. If you want to smell homeless, then okay, but generally cheap sh*t smells like cheap sh*t. Go to a real counter and somebody who charges you sales tax.
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2. Leopard print
Your style icon is Eartha Kitt, right? There is no reason for you to walk around looking like a rug or your girlfriend's panties. Leopard is just too busy of a pattern for a grown man to wear and not look like a fool.
Replace with: A shirt that won't have people mistaking you for an animal.
Image via foxandjanesalon.com3. Leather jacket
Although there still exists the rare man who can carry one off...maybe it's time for tailored jackets.
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4. Counterfeit anything
It's criminal on two counts: Manufacturing counterfeit products is unconscionable, because it's stealing and it's illegal.
Replace with: Something you can afford, if you think carrying a fake designer watch is going to make you more fabulous, you might have to rethink your priorities.
Image via gevrilgroup.com5. Witty slogan t-shirts
We've got nothing against t-shirts – they're something we all need. What we are against, however, are t-shirts described as one of the following: cute, cheesy or douchey. These shirts – often found in the discount counters of FOS or Threadless – were cool in your 20s, when loud slogans and brands spoke of your character. Men in their 30s, however, should be confident in themselves enough to not advertise and overcompensate for how cute or brand-conscious they are.
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Replace with: You can't go wrong with a pique Polo Shirt from Ralph Lauren or Lacoste, but even the classic polo can be a little drab. Chuck out those cheesy tees and replace them with vintage rock shirts that reflect your age and taste (Acceptable: Ramones. Unacceptable: One Direction).
Image via snorgtees.com6. Leather wristband
You're not a blacksmith, nor are you a member of Nickelback. There's simply no need to strap a useless piece of leather to your wrist before leaving the house in the morning. Honestly, it serves no purpose. None whatsoever. It's not a watch. It's not even a friendship bracelet. What it is, however, is a telltale sign of your reluctance to grow up.
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7. Bright sneakers
Adults can wear sneakers with colors on them. That's fine. We don't live in a black and white world. But there's just something about a 30-year-old guy wearing a pair of electric yellow sneakers with neon green laces that doesn't quite look right.
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8. Sagged jeans
Unless you currently earn a living as a Dirty South rapper, pull your freakin' pants up. If you're in high school, wearing your pants sagged below your ass can be quasi-excusable. The young are often blissfully ignorant to the fact that they look like morons. But with age comes wisdom, and after being alive 30+ years, you should know better.
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9. Converse canvas shoes
These iconic canvas shoes served us well when we were young: they were affordable, practical, and reflected our rugged youth. Guys who continue to wear them in their 30s as their fashion staple, however, look like dudes who refuse to grow up beyond their adolescence.
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Replace with: By now, you should have earned enough to buy shoes that your-once teenage self could only dream of. Ditch those Converse shoes (or those China-made canvas whites) and opt for practical and good-looking Chukkas or Desert Boots. Those from Paul Smith, Ted Baker, Mark McNairy or Fred Perry are great brands to start from: they're classic, but never too boring.
Image via lockeroom.com.my10. Skinny jeans
Rebellious fashion is all cool when your 20-something – Skinny jeans and skinny ties are perfect examples of fashion items that go against the conventions. By your 30s, however, you do want to dress with a sense of gravitas: No one takes a man dressed in skinny ties and skinny jeans seriously in any formal function or meeting.
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Replace with: Look for a straight-cut pair of jeans that conforms to the silhouette of your leg, sits naturally at your waist, and tapers off slightly at your ankles. Unlike carrot-cut dad jeans that make your butt look disproportionately large, or wide-cut “comfort” jeans that make you look frumpy, the straight-cut jeans is classic, and can be paired with most anything.
Image via celebrity60.com11. Grungy-looking three-quarter cargo pants
One can see why cargo pants are being worn in the 30s – they're comfortable, need little care for ironing, and they can carry loads in their pockets. The unkemptness of those cargoes, however, could leave you to be mistaken for a Sk8ter-boy era Avril Lavigne fan.
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Replace with: Sport a pair of tailored or Chino shorts from Ralph Lauren, Dockers, or Nautica – when worn with a contrasting-coloured fitting shirt, it makes for a neat and comfortable that's perfect for the hot weather.
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