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"Couples Shouldn't Expect Money" — Malaysians Share How Much Ang Pow They Give At Weddings

We asked what people are willing to give this year.

Cover image via Min An/Pexels

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Note: Submissions have been edited for clarity. Names have been changed to protect identities.

1. "More atas venues get more money"

"It depends on the location of the wedding and how close I am to the couple. More atas venues get more money, and I also give more if the couple are people I'm personally close to. But anything more than RM300 feels a bit too much lah."

— Tom, 32

2. "A lavish celebration at a high-end hotel may warrant a larger gift than a cosy backyard ceremony"

"RM150 - RM400. I think it really depends and there's usually a few things I'd consider:
 
"A lavish celebration at a high-end hotel may warrant a larger gift than a cosy backyard ceremony. Similarly, a sit-down dinner often carries a higher cost compared to a buffet-style reception.

"For relatives or close friends, I'd be alright with giving around RM300 - RM400. It's a bonus if I'm close to BOTH the bride and groom, then I wouldn't mind giving even RM500."

— Ashley, 29

Image for illustration purposes only.

Image via Jay Wennington/Unsplash

3. "As long as it's within my budget"

"I give between RM150 to RM200. Couples shouldn't expect money and more so if they chose really expensive options that they themselves can't afford because they assume people will pay for it. It's your wedding, not ours."

— Dory, 38

4. "For Chinese weddings, I typically offer RM500 or more, adjusting the amount based on my relationship with the bride or groom"

"However, it's been some time since I've attended Malay or Indian weddings, so I'm unsure of the customary amount. I would aim to give at least RM200 as a token of appreciation.

"Chinese weddings often entail significant expenses, and it has become customary for guests to contribute towards covering the wedding costs. From my understanding, Malays approach this differently, with the bride and groom prioritising hospitality and not expecting guests to cover the entirety of the meal expenses."

— Adrian Lai, 35

Image for illustration purposes only.

Image via Arisa Chattasa/Unsplash

5. "The final amount depends on whose wedding I'll be attending and the scale of the celebration"

"I usually give between RM150 and RM200. If it's just an acquaintance or a distant relative getting married at a four-star hotel, I'll probably just give RM150. If they're getting married at a super fancy place, probably RM200-ish. If it's a close friend or relative, I'll give around RM200 to RM300!"

— Timothy, 26

6. "I'd give between RM100 for acquaintances and RM250 for close friends"

"I would be compelled to give more to the couple if I were closer to them, but if not, I think the basic RM100 would have to suffice."

— Jane, 37

7. "If it's one of my best friends, I'll definitely give higher"

"RM100 - RM200. It depends on how close I am to the person getting married. If it's one of my best friends, I'll definitely give higher, because I just feel grateful to be part of their wedding. <3"

— Pam, 30

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Image via Photos by Lanty/Unsplash

8. "RM50 - RM300"

"Depends on the wedding venue. If atas, give more or if close friends give more lo."

— Anonymous, 29

9. "Monetary gifts are, of course, always welcome. But if you truly want your guests to be there on your special day, then you shouldn't be expecting anything but their presence."

"At a certain age, you start to get plenty of wedding invites, so I give within my means between RM100 and RM250, depending on the venue, food, and my relationship with the couple.

"If I can't afford to attend a wedding and I feel that the couple is expecting a certain amount from their guests, I may turn down the invitation.

"I think the point of a wedding is to celebrate your marriage with your loved ones and it isn't a time to be expecting money. Monetary gifts are, of course, always welcome. But if you truly want your guests to be there on your special day, then you shouldn't be expecting anything but their presence. If they do offer a monetary gift, it's obviously helpful.

"At the end of the day, you choose who you want to celebrate with. Friendship shouldn't be based on how much money someone gives to you."

— Jess, 30

Is it cheapskate to give gifts instead of cash? We find out:

Someone previously said that the minimum amount to give is RM300:

Wedding may cost a bomb, but they don't have to! Here are some things married couples shared they could have avoided:

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