27 Stages Every Malaysian Goes Through When They Learn How To Drive
Two words: naik bukit.
By John Lim
1. YES, you're finally 17! First thing to tick off the checklist - get a driver's license!
This is the moment you've been waiting for! No more asking for rides from your parents, no more shamelessly sending texts like, "eh, can come pick me please?" to your peeps.
2. You just can't stop thinking about the things you'll be able to do, like experiencing a McDonald's drive thru
4. You finally find one that suits you, but before you could go into payment details, the uncle asks you...
5. "So... you want to bao or not?"
"Bao" is a Malaysian slang for "bribe".
Well, only you know the answer to this question. :)
6. On that weekend, you bring your excited self to attend the ceramah
Your older siblings and friends cautioned you about how boring the ceramah will be. They even advised you to bring some titbits, homework, or maybe even your Gameboy so you don't kill yourself in boredom
7. It didn't turn out to be that bad after all!
Admittedly, you did mengantuk quite a bit.
8. You treat your buku undang like a sejarah textbook
Memorise everything.
9. You take the test in a freezing room with other people like yourself
You double check multiple times to make you don't get anything wrong because EVERY SINGLE ANSWER COUNTS, especially the "colour blind" section!
10. Your heart stops when you click the "Hantar" button...
Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...
11. Finally, the fun stuff! You arrange with the school and go for your first practice session.
So excites.
12. But the thought of spending your time confined to a car with a complete stranger kinda freaks you out a bit
13. That magical feeling when you put your hands on the steering wheel for the first time...
15. You meet your arch-nemesis for the first time. His name is Clutch and he will do everything to make you suffer.
17. You concentrate so hard you always forget to stop at "Stop" signs
Multitasking is NOT easy.
18. You find out parallel parking is all about following a formula
Reverse until you see the fourth steel rod, turn your steering 10 times...
20. Naik bukit, nooo! Time to pray to every god in the universe so you don’t roll down from the slope.
21. You step out of the car drenched in sweat after each session because no power steering and aircon :(
Kids these days would never understand that predicament because they learn in Axias which are equipped with power steering and nice aircon.
23. You anxiously wait for your turn while trying your very best to recall everything you've learnt
And it's during the test that you remember how much you love your driving teacher. Without him, you know nothing.
24. Much to your disappointment, you fail :(
But all the best drivers fail their first test right?
25. After one more attempt, you pass. You know exactly how to celebrate: by offering everyone free rides!
26. As time goes by, you find out that it's a cruel world out there and driving can be really stressful
Inconsiderate drivers are everywhere.
27. But hey, you’re finally independent now and nothing beats not having to call your parents to pick you up! :D
