Malaysian Man Quits His Full-Time Corporate Job To Care For His Bedridden Mother
A child's love knows no bounds.
By Wayne Garreth — 24 Aug 2023, 01:34 PM
While many parents go to great lengths to care for their children, there comes a time in life when this roles are reversed
A recent TikTok has been making waves online after one Malaysian man, Alif Rosehaizad, shared his daily caregiving routine for his bedridden mother.
In the clip, Alif can be seen by changing his mother's clothes before administering her medication and feeding her. Alif then proceeds to brush her teeth and clean her tracheostomy — an opening in the front of her neck where a tube is inserted to help her breathe.
Alif also takes on tasks like doing the laundry, tidying her room, and performing physiotherapy by gently moving her arms and legs to facilitate proper blood circulation throughout her body. Taking some time for himself, Alif also goes on a run in the evening.
"This is definitely the toughest decision I have ever made. But also the best," wrote Alif in a caption on the video.
Speaking to SAYS, Alif stated that he had been working in the communications sector for eight years when his mother fell sick, prompting him to quit his corporate job and care for her full-time
Providing a brief overview of her condition, Alif said his mother was diagnosed with hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy (HIE), a form of brain damage that occurs due to a lack of oxygen reaching the brain. She was diagnosed in June 2022 at the age of 65, with the condition causing her body to go limp and require daily care.
After his mother fell ill, Alif shared that his family enlisted the help of a private nurse to care for her. However, he personally noticed a distinct difference when he took on the role of caregiver compared to relying on outside assistance
"My mother looked healthier and I also felt more content because I was thorough when caring for her. But I also did not have the ability to give her 100% of my attention because of the strain at work. I'd be tired, come home, and have to work again," Alif shared with SAYS.
It was then that Alif made the difficult decision to leave his job to care for his mother full-time.
Upon his mother's initial diagnosis, Alif stated that he and his siblings were in the dark about what to do next
"From that point, I immediately made a list of what I needed after observing how the nurses cared for my mum at the hospital ward. I did my own research on YouTube to learn about the correct techniques to care for someone with this condition," he added.
Through trial and error, Alif created a systematic routine and checklist for both daytime and nighttime to care for his mother.
"Because my mother can't speak, and can't tell us when she's hungry or uncomfortable, the checklist is our reference. Items I need, alongside their brand names, are listed based on their effectiveness and quality, so my mother receives the best and most comfortable care," he said.
"But I always recall how my mother raised six men successfully — my exhaustion is nothing compared to that," said Aliff
When discussing the challenges that come with caring for his mother, Alif stated how the physical and mental aspects are incredibly taxing on him.
"From the mental aspect, you can feel burnt out because you don't have time to take on your hobbies or see your friends like you used to. I have felt sad and not everyone can understand what a caretaker feels. At the same time, I also feel sad that my mother is sick, and reminisce about the times when she was healthy," he said.
Alongside that, caring for his mother also brought physical challenges. From lifting heavy items to needing to care for himself and his own family too, Alif stated that he remembers the lengths his mother went through to raise him and his siblings, and how helpful his brothers are when assisting him through the process.
"I'm grateful to my brothers for playing their role and keeping our spirits up when taking care of my mother, so I can have time for myself and take a break when I need it," he shared.
Despite the challenges that came his way, Alif stated that he began to share his story on TikTok with the intention of helping others who may be going through a similar situation
"At first, I didn't have that many followers. But over time and through my page's growth, many others have shared their experience in taking care of their sick family members. I am so grateful for that.
"The comments give me strength to continue sharing my journey with those who do not know where to begin," said Alif.
Offering advice to other Malaysians who may be in a similar predicament, Alif stated that it is okay to be sad, angry, and tired, as he encounters the same challenges at times.
"Try to find time for yourself, because one's mental health is so important when caring for sick people. Make some time for yourself to exercise or to do what you love, then you will come back stronger," he advised.
Touching the hearts of many through his TikTok, Alif's story has since garnered about three million views at the time of writing
From delaying semesters in university to quitting their own jobs, a number of Malaysians shared their own experiences taking care of an ailing relative in the comments section.
Caring for the ill is not just to care for them, but also to give us a chance to spend time with someone we love
