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A Chinese student studying in Malaysia has shared how life here has helped her let go of what she describes as "excellence shame"
In a candid post on Xiaohongshu titled "Why Living In Malaysia Has Cured My Excellence Shame", the student reflected on how moving abroad changed her perspective on life and taught her to stop being overly critical of herself.
"After coming to Malaysia, I realised people don't have to be so tense," she wrote.
According to the student, she used to live under constant pressure before moving to Malaysia. She would never arrive late for class, procrastinate on assignments, make mistakes while speaking English, or stumble during presentations.
"Even when going out, I would wonder if I was dressed appropriately enough," she added.
However, despite constantly striving for perfection, she admitted that she was never fully satisfied with herself
"Every little mistake would make me blame myself for a long time. Saying one wrong sentence in English would embarrass me for the whole day. Even if I had an ordinary day, I always felt like I hadn't done enough," she said.
However, things gradually changed after she arrived in Malaysia.
"Malaysians are really very laidback and calm," she observed.
She shared that lecturers would still welcome students who arrived slightly late, people were patient when she struggled with English, and nobody paid much attention to what others wore.
"If something isn't done, everyone says, 'Take your time, it's okay.' That sentence heals me every time I hear it," she wrote.
The student explained that she used to push herself relentlessly, even when she was sick or exhausted, and would magnify every small mistake
"But later, I understood that relaxation is not slacking off, and being laidback is not being unambitious," she wrote.
"It means you're still working hard, but you no longer deny yourself because of a small imperfection."
Although she still gets nervous and makes mistakes, she said she no longer fears them as much anymore.
"If my English is poor, I'll speak slowly. If I don't know how to do my homework, I'll figure it out slowly. If I don't feel well, I'll rest properly. If I don't want to socialise, I can eat alone, take a walk, or simply daydream."
She said she has finally allowed herself to live like an ordinary person.
She added that Malaysia did not magically transform her, it taught her an important lesson
"You can work hard, but you really don't have to be so hard on yourself all the time."
According to the student, what she loves most about Malaysia is not just the weather, scenery, or food, but the sense of comfort she has found within herself while living here.
"It's because it makes me feel that even if I'm a bit ordinary, a bit slow, and occasionally make mistakes, it's okay. Everyone is taking life seriously, but no one is making life harder than it needs to be," she concluded.
Many netizens, including Malaysians, responded warmly in the comments section, echoing the kindness and understanding the student had described
"It's true, we won't laugh at you for not speaking English well. Language is simply a tool for communication. As long as people understand each other, that's enough," one user commented.
"Be your own protagonist and live life on your own terms," wrote another.
A third user added, "Keep going and don't be anxious. Everyone is unique. What matters most is that you're happy and comfortable in your own skin."
