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SG Man Friend Zoned By Woman Sues Her For RM9 Million Because Of "Emotional Trauma"

"Emotionally, till the day I die, you are the cause of my trauma," the man said.

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A Singaporean man has launched two lawsuits against his former female friend for the alleged "emotional trauma" he suffered after she rejected his romantic advances

CNA reported K Kawshigan first befriended Nora Tan Shu Mei in 2016, but issues arose four years later in September 2020 when they "became misaligned about how they saw their relationship".

According to court documents, Tan requested for interactions between the two to be reduced, emphasising that boundaries were required and urging him to be "self-reliant".

This displeased Kawshigan, who issued her a letter of demand a month later to threaten her with legal action for "monetary damages arising from negligent infliction of emotional distress and possible defamation".

Tan tried to reason with her former friend, stressing that her "discomfort [was] genuine", but was unsuccessful.

He later responded in a text message, saying, "Emotionally, till the day I die, you are the cause of my trauma."

"We will talk again once every single person disproves you, and you find that you were wrong about me, and that you truly hurt me."

Image for illustration purposes only.

Image via rebcenter moscow/Pexels

Tan was then asked by Kawshigan’s counsellor to participate in their sessions, and she agreed thinking it would help him eventually accept her decision

However, Tan gave up on the sessions after committing to it for a year and a half, as she felt the sessions saw no change to his mindset.

Tan began harassment proceedings against Kawshigan in April 2022, to which the latter responded by threatening legal retaliation. 

At the time, the two engaged in discussions on possible ways to adjust the terms of their relationship so that both would be satisfied.

Eventually, Tan decided to end communications with Kawshigan in May 2022 as she was no longer able to tolerate his inability to respect her personal boundaries by pressuring her for increased interaction. 

Following this, on 7 July 2022, Kawshigan filed two lawsuits against Tan, with the first being a SGD3 million (RM9 million) claim for allegedly causing "damage to his stellar reputation" due to her defamatory remarks

He claimed that her suggestions that he had harrassed and spied on her caused him to lose business partnerships and "indefinite loss of potential investment".

The figure also included costs incurred in therapy for the "trauma, depression, and impacts" to his life.

The second lawsuit was a SGD22,000 (RM71,000) magistrate's court claim on 27 August 2022 for allegedly breaching an agreement to improve their relationship.

He claimed that it resulted in his earning capacity being negatively affected, and that he had to seek out "deeper psychological assistance".

Image via Calvin Oh/CNA

State Courts deputy registrar Lewis Tan has since struck out the RM71,000 suit, stating that Kawshigan's claim was groundless and an abuse of the court process

"This court will not be an accessory to his calculated attempt to compel engagement from the defendant who, after years of massaging the claimant's unhappiness, has finally decided to stand up to his threats rather than cower and give in to his demands," Lewis said, as reported by The Straits Times.

Tan has also obtained a long-term personal protection order against Kawshigan. She said that Kawshigan had sent her threatening messages and that she was forced to maintain communications with him, or otherwise be faced with legal action.

The RM9 million High Court claim is fixed for a pre-trial hearing on 9 February.

If you or someone you know may be at risk or has experienced sexual abuse or assault, please reach out to these Malaysian organisations:

1. WOMEN'S AID ORGANISATION (WAO)
Operating hours: 24-hour
Contact: +603-30008858
SMS/WhatsApp: +6018-9888058
Website | Facebook | Twitter

2. ALL WOMEN'S ACTION SOCIETY (AWAM)
Operating hours: Monday to Friday (9.30am - 5.30pm)
Contact: +603-78770224
WhatsApp/Telegram: +6016-2284221 | +6016-2374221
Email: telenita@awam.org.my
Website | Facebook | Twitter

3. WOMEN'S CENTRE FOR CHANGE PENANG (WCC PENANG)
Operating hours: Monday to Friday (9am - 5pm)
Contact: +604-2280342 | +604-3988340
WhatsApp: +6011-31084001 | +6016-4180342
Email: wcc@wccpenang.org
Website | Facebook | Twitter

4. SARAWAK WOMEN FOR WOMEN SOCIETY (SWWS)
Operating hours: Monday (7pm - 9pm),Tuesday to Thursday (9.30am - 11.30am), Saturday (2pm - 4pm)
Contact: +6082-368853
SMS/WhatsApp: +6016-5822660 | +6013-8044285
Email: sarswws@gmail.com
Website | Facebook | Twitter

5. SABAH WOMEN'S ACTION-RESOURCE GROUP (SAWO)
Operating hours: Monday to Friday (9am - 5pm)
Contact: +6088-280200 | +6011-27908020
Email: sawo.women@yahoo.com
Website | Facebook | Twitter

6. PROTECT AND SAVE THE CHILDREN (PS THE CHILDREN)
Operating hours: Monday to Friday (3pm - 12am)
WhatsApp: +6016-7213065
Email: protect@psthechildren.org.my
Website | Facebook | Twitter

7. INTERNET WATCH FOUNDATION (IWF)
Anonymously and confidentially report child sexual abuse content and non-photographic child sexual abuse images with IWF's Reporting Portal.

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