Malaysians Share Their Family Planning Practices & How Many Kids They Think Are Ideal
"The ideal number of children for me is three — two dogs and a cat! :D"
By Laila Zain
1. "Birth control pill because I feel like it's easy to use and as someone who has PCOS, it also helps to regulate my hormones and period, so it's a win-win situation"
"I have a seven-month-old and am planning to have one or two more kids, preferably with a two to three year age gap.
"I use the birth control pill and the pull out method. Birth control pill because I feel like it's easy to use and as someone who has PCOS, it also helps to regulate my hormones and period, so it's a win-win situation. And with the additional pull out method because… just in case, you know? Haha.
"Two to three children is the ideal number for me, so that they can grow up with each other and have a brother or sister to fall back on. Also, so that in our (parents) old age, the burden/challenges of caring for an elder parent won't fall solely on one child."
- Leddy
2. "Condoms are easy, convenient, and 99% effective"
"I've been married 10 years and have one child, he's eight years old. I am planning to have one more. For family planning, we use condoms. My husband chose this method because it's easy, convenient, and effective.
"I feel that two is the ideal number of children because it's good to have a sibling for my son, it will help to develop his character of sharing, love, and social skills."
- Pretty Mama
3. "The ideal number of children for me is three — two dogs and a cat! :D"
"My husband and I decided we don't want children because we do not have an inherent need or want to 'build' a human being from scratch, or to leave that type of legacy behind.
"Probably also because of the reason above, we are 'selfish' with our freedom and time, where we are not tied down to someone completely dependent on you. The idea of going through so much sacrifice to possibly one day have a bad relationship with a child or have them be rude etc simply isn't worth it in our view.
"That's why I use birth control pills! It's easy and it has other benefits as well, such as keeping my mood steady and I believe helps with my skin.
"The ideal number of children for me is three — two dogs and a cat! :D"
- M&M
4. "My wife is pregnant with our first kiddo :D"
"My wife and I have been married for one year and one month and she's pregnant with our first kiddo. :D We want two children because she says that the child will be so sad without a sibling, and we're looking at a two-year gap.
"For contraception, we use condoms (when we're not lazy) and my wife also tracks her cycle with an app.
"I think if you can afford it, it would be nice to have two or more children, so that the kids can grow up and interact with each other. Being an eldest brother, I think I became a lot more mature as a kid because I got to take care of my little sister."
- BonsaiFather
5. "I don't use birth control, everything is natural"
"I've been married for 11 years and have two children, aged 7 and 10. We are not planning to have anymore kids.
"My husband and I actually don't use any birth control, everything is natural. :)
"I like children and I feel three kids is decent. Not too many, not too few. Just right. I wish I could have a third child but... visa dah apply tak bagi approve lah!"
- Mrs J
6. "Pull out method because it's easier, no prep needed especially when sex happens spontaneously"
"I've been married eight years and have two kiddos, six and two years old. We are not planning to have more, nope. In my opinion, the four-year gap is ideal because the older child would be way more mature and can understand and communicate a lotttt better. They're less likely to feel threatened, jealous, or insecure with the arrival of a new sibling, and also independent enough not to need your constant attention. Best thing of all, they're also excited to help out around the house or with the new baby at this age.
"We use the pull out method and occasionally condoms. Pull out method because it's easier, no prep needed especially when sex happens spontaneously (so leceh to go get and wear condoms and all) and the bottom line is 'cause we're lazy people. Hehe.
"I feel two is the ideal number of kids! Two adults to two children. Any more and the adults would be outnumbered. One parent can take on one child, one parent can handle the other, and when necessary we switch. It's super manageable. Also, financially having two kids seems doable too :') Everything is so expensive now. My husband and I want to live a comfortable life where we don't have to stress too much about $$ and still hopefully be able to give the kids the best we can."
- Two is the Magic Number
7. "I had my tubes tied because we are done!"
"I have five kids aged 13, 10, 6, 3, and 8 months old. After every birth, I would go on the progesterone-only pill, so that I can prevent pregnancy, balance my hormones, and still continue breastfeeding. After around a year, I would switch to the combination pill to regulate my periods again. Then when we're ready to have the next baby, I would stop the birth control. After baby #5, I had my tubes tied because we are done!
"Personally, I think three kids is the ideal number. But I've always wanted five hehe. The more important thing for me is the age gap. I definitely wanted a 3-4 year gap between each child. I had my first when I was 21, which is why I still felt confident having my fifth at 35. :)"
- Thank U, No Next
8. "I don't trust my husband to pull out on time haha"
"We've been married for seven years and have two children, aged 6 and 2. I want to have more and plan to have (maybe?) two more. That's my maximum. For contraception, we use condoms because I feel it's easy and convenient. At the same time, I don't trust my husband to pull out on time haha.
"I don't think there's an ideal number of kids, it depends on the family and their financial stability. You have to ensure you can provide for the kids' necessities. Most importantly, you and your partner have to be able to accept the challenges that come with having more kids."
- BossMummy
9. "At the end of the day, it depends on what my wife is comfortable with"
"My wife and I have been married for three months and don't have children yet, but we're planning to have one to three kids when we're in our thirties (depending on rezeki and energy for living). Our ideal gap between kids would be two to five years.
"When it comes to contraception, we use condoms because they're affordable, and menstrual tracking because it's actually pretty accurate to track your most fertile period, it reduces the possibility of getting pregnant by a lot.
"For long term birth control, my wife is interested in using the copper IUD as it's a physical contraceptive as opposed to hormonal. Or maybe the birth control implant as it's less physically invasive and provides around three years of birth control.
"There are pros and cons to all the methods, so we're taking our time to see which one we'll opt for. At the end of the day, it depends on what my wife is comfortable with.
"When it comes to the 'ideal' number of children, I think it boils down to what kind of lifestyle we want for ourselves and our future children. Even though we would love to have three children, it depends on our household income, resources, support system, and living conditions at the time. After all, kids are a lifelong responsibility and a huge financial commitment."
- I Love Woodworking
